Looking out my Backdoor: Full disclosure-Argentine ants, no flavor!

We’ve most of us inadvertently swallowed a bug or two, usually a mosquito. Right?

Here the gustatory bugs are most likely Argentine ants. They are taking over the world, by the way. Saw that on a You Tube documentary. Moving north, house by house. It is so. You might not even notice them, they are so tiny, like a speck of dust on legs.

Anyway, what happened that busy morning when I was sewing a tunic top, is that I sat my glass of agua fresca, a fruity drink of papaya, pineapple and lime juice, on the counter while I was back and forth from sewing machine to ironing board. I pretty well forgot my drink until I got gasping thirsty. I saw that ants were crawling all over my countertop in the area where sat my glass.

These pesky little critters, a now-and-again occurrence, are usually in search of liquid. Okay. I keep them at bay with an ultra-clean counter and a spray bottle of pure vinegar, resident on the same counter. Days might pass with nary a bug. Then a couple days of frequent spritzing. It’s not a big deal. Works on all house ants, vinegar does.

I peered into my glass. I saw a dozen visible bodies. No movement, all dead. Like specks of dust, remember? I hate to throw away a good drink. I drank my agua fresca, down the hatch. No added flavor. No harm.

I don’t recommend drinking bugs as a regular treat. My advice is don’t look first, just down the hatch.

A few months ago I mentioned I am considering the advantages of renting versus owning. I’m still thinking. Gulp. Big decision. My casita is for sale, small price. In the interest of full disclosure, unlike realtors and politicians, I want to tell you some of my solutions for dealing with pests and problems.

Leaf-cutter ants? Go for the nasty poison yellow-dust. If you want to mess around with environmentally friendly solutions from your cupboard, go for it, my friend. They won’t work. Leaf-cutters will strip your favorite tree, bush, garden plot overnight, but go ahead, play with alternative solutions.

The fire ants, I guarantee, you will go straight for the kill. They don’t mess around and if you step onto a nest, neither will you.

Ignore all the other ants. Most of them are harmless. Those giant black ones are just passing through and you will only see them a couple days a year.

Bean bugs. I transfer all my kitchen products that come in box or bag into airtight glass or plastic containers. Separately. Immediately. If you should detect movement in one of the containers, take it immediately to the compost bin. Do not open the container in the house. I did once. Took me a year to rid my kitchen of the swarm of bean bugs. Vinegar worked.

Buy small. You will not be snowed in for a season and need fifty kilos of oatmeal, beans, flour and rice. Trust me.

Every time there is a break in a city water line, replace the water filters coming from the tinaco. Just do it.

Our water is full of minerals. Periodically you will replace the lines from the pipes to the faucets, the toilet tank innards, the shower heads. It’s not a big deal. Just don’t go acting surprised.

Scorpions and cock roaches, I spray monthly. You do whatever makes you feel good. Denial works for one of my acquaintances. He says he simply does not allow them into his consciousness. Well.

The only other helpful hint I can think of at this time is towels. I keep a set of towels just for the rains. I pack them onto the ledge of my east-facing windows during storms. I’ve even packed the windows with rubber insulation strips. Rain water still flowed in like a river. Okay, smallish stream. Towels sop up the water and dry in the sun. It works.

I’ll probably think of more helpful hints later. Meanwhile, if you’d like my grand tour, let me know. I’ll show you all I’ve done to make living easier.

Agua fresca today is papaya, yaka fruit and lemon juice. Ants, no extra charge.

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Sondra Ashton grew up in Harlem but spent most of her adult life out of state. She returned to see the Hi-Line with a perspective of delight. After several years back in Harlem, Ashton is seeking new experiences in Etzatlan, Mexico. Once a Montanan, always. Read Ashton’s essays and other work at http://montanatumbleweed.blogspot.com/. Email [email protected].