Looking out my Backdoor: Job application for sports person

Dear Editor,

I recently spotted an opening for a sports person for the newspaper. I didn’t read the description closely but am confident I could quickly polish and perfect my qualifications for the position.

When I was 9 or 10 years old, before we moved to Montana, my dad took me to a Cardinal’s game at the stadium in Louisville, Kentucky, a skip, a jump and a slide across the Ohio River from where we lived. The game was at night and the field was well-lighted. I did wonder if the players had a hard time keeping an eye on the baseball when it flew through the shadows. I noticed that while sitting up in the bleachers. I am most observant.

The hot dog with mustard and relish was fantastic, as was the Ne-hi Orange soda. That was the first time I ate a hot dog in a bun. At home we had wieners cut up in a can of Van Camp’s Pork and Beans, which had very little pork. It is not the same thing. That is neither here nor there, but demonstrates that I can fluff up a piece when I need to do so. I still like a good hot dog.

In high school, I attended a few football games on nights, badly lit, when the snow blew in circles and it was always bitter cold. We girls huddled in a cluster on the bleachers. We were there to watch boys, not a pigskin. In later life I watched one Rose Bowl Game on television. Same story with better snacks.

Basketball was more my speed. I will say the gym was always stinky and noisy. Always. Unfortunately, we did not have girls’ basketball back then. I found basketball more to my understanding.

My dad used to referee girls’ basketball, back in our little community in Indiana. I suspect he ref'ed with more of an eye for the girls than for the basketball, but what do I know. He did say that it was a hoot and that the girls fought harder than the guys.

In the spring, we had track. I have a rudimentary beginning knowledge of track events. In my youth, all sports were for boys. We did not have a baseball team.

We did not have girls’ sports of any kind back in our day. I still have residual bitterness that the boys had full seasons of sports and we had zero, zilch, nothing. I will be vigilant in reporting girls’ and women’s teams equally with boys’ and men’s teams.

I would have been good at baseball. I have read everything W.P. Kinsella wrote. Everything. I will say “Shoeless Joe” is better than “Field of Dreams,” but I confess to a book bias. Still, I enjoyed “Field of Dreams.”

Yep. I reckon I am fairly good at baseball. I assisted the director as well as played the role of Rose in “Bleacher Bums.” Go Cubbies.

Of course, I must climb to the top of a steep learning curve. The world of sports no longer revolves around football, baseball and basketball. Now even in small communities we have wrestling, boxing, soccer, softball, swimming, dance, gymnastics, volleyball, hockey, curling, tennis, golf and even that strange sport where you either catch or throw (?) the ball from a funny basket on a stick.

I am up for the challenge. In every community, there is a café with a round table back in the corner in which around 10 in the morning, several retired men gather for coffee and confab. These men know all there is to know about sports. They know the characteristics of every team and of every player. They know. Ask them. They know.

If I hang out at an adjacent table and take notes, in no time at all, I will be up to speed in sports.

In addition I would be able to address such often ignored but important things as sportswear, equipment, community support, snacks and the spectators, without whom, sports would flounder.

When would you like me to start?

——

Sondra Ashton grew up in Harlem but spent most of her adult life out of state. She returned to see the Hi-Line with a perspective of delight. After several years back in Harlem, Ashton is seeking new experiences in Etzatlan, Mexico. Once a Montanan, always. Read Ashton’s essays and other work at http://montanatumbleweed.blogspot.com/. Email [email protected].