Pastors Corner: Children and an entitlement mentality

      "Anyone who robs father and mother and says, 'So what's wrong with that?'" is worse than a pirate. [Proverbs 28:24 MSG Bible]

Children often have a sense of entitlement ("a help yourself" mentality, if you will) when it comes to their parent's possessions. Now the Bible teaches that children have a unique responsibility to honor their parents (see Exodus 20:12) and even to reciprocate their parents' generosity as Mom and Dad age. As you read the illustration, below, can you identify any "Jacks" in your life?

Jack was 12, Jack was all boy, full of energy, and as he approached his teenage years he checked the fences, his boundaries. One day, Jack marched into the room while several other parents watched in disbelief and like a mighty general demanded money from his father. With the tilt of his arrogant little head, he announced to his dad that he was going to the movies, out for pizza, then to the mall. When his passive dad whipped out a 20-dollar bill young Jack curled up his spiteful lip and scoffed that it wasn't enough to even cross the street. As this little jerk strutted from the room with another of his compliant father's $20s (now $40 total) his dad shrugged, looked defeated, and sighed, saying, "Teenagers these days, what are you going to do?"

     Jack is now 24. He graduated from college with a business degree two years ago, but he works 10 hours a week waiting tables. "There are no good jobs out there," he explains. He sleeps until 10 a.m. most mornings and goes out clubbing most nights, still using Dad's money. Mom still cleans his room and his clothes and fixes his meals. She cleans the kitchen by herself after the meal. Jack is still a jerk, only now he's a lazy jerk. His parents are at their wits' end and cannot believe the choices they are faced with. "Do we move him out? Won't he starve? "He won't pay his car payment that we cosigned for; come to think of it he isn't paying it now - we are. "He won't take responsibility, and we know this is wrong, but you can't just throw your kids in the street, can you?'

     Jack is disabled. He isn't disabled in the classic sense; he just has no character, no need to win. We all know Jack, and some of you are Jack. Jack's parents caused his disability by allowing him to do nothing, and be nothing, and by giving him no instruction on how life works. Children who reach the age of 18 with their entire skill set composed of video games or cell phone dependence have been abused. I am not speaking of child abuse in the sense of sexual or physical abuse, but neglect. The parents neglected the child by not giving him the character traits needed to live successfully. ... Yet now that he is grown it is Jack's responsibility to find his way, in spite of the disability his parents have left him with.

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Pastor Michael O'Hearn

Hi-Line Lutheran Churches