View from the North 40: It's not even the school of hard knocks

Man oh man, has the Supreme Court of the United States of America, land of the free, really taken it on the chin, from mostly liberals, over some of their home-of-the-brave decisions they’ve made lately. But all this angst is clouding people’s thinking.

The most recent SCOTUS decisions have fallen like a one-two punch bellow the belt for separation of church and state, or at least church and state-funded schools.

June 27 the justices ruled, 6-3, that a Bremerton, Washington, high school football coach had a constitutional right to hold a private post-game prayer on the 50-yard line of his public school. And if his team members wanted to join him in praise of Jesus, they could. And they did, praise Jesus. And if the opposing team wanted to accept the coach’s invitation to join in as well, so be it. Amen.

Then, Tuesday, they ruled, 6-3 again, that if the state of Maine is going to give education funds to private secular schools, they have to give it to private religious schools, too. It’s kind of a good enough for the goose, good enough for the gander thing, they said.

But don’t get attached to that metaphor because this is religion and it’s more complicated than that.

Passions run high. Even religious leaders have spoken out against these decisions, some even showed up to testify before the justices to say that this is a slippery slope at the bottom of which the country will be skidding out into traffic that’s rife with oncoming from every direction.

That actually happened to a cousin of mine, skidding uncontrolled into oncoming traffic that is. He smucked his head pretty good and lost a front tooth. Poor kid looked like a jack-o-lantern until he could afford a real fake tooth in his early 20s. But he only hit a car, so his brain recovered all right from the head injury, and that’s why I believe we have a chance we’ll get through this.

The key to this situation is to see it as a teachable moment — or a teachable movement — for the kids and the communities.

Think about it. What if the visiting team’s coach is Muslim and the game waits to start until after 6 p.m. prayers on the 50-yard line. The other coaches, teachers and parents would have an opportunity to educate the kids and themselves on all things Islam, which has the second-highest number of worshipers worldwide, maybe participate in this spiritual moment.

Imagine that, a Friday night football game starting with kneeling on mats, facing Mecca, praising Allah and ending kneeling in a circle praising god. The goose and a gander? They’re a metaphor for freedom.

Of course, Montana likely doesn’t have enough Muslims to see that happen, ever.

Fortunately, though, we could very well have Native Americans in prayer to the Creator and smudging at games. There might be some Babel-esque conflict if everyone wants to be on the 50-yard line praying out loud at the same time, but, see, it’s another teachable situation when everyone can be learning skills of negotiation, compromise and courtesy.

In the end we might all learn enough, internalize enough, that mainstream Montana culture would just naturally include Native culture — of all its tribes — the Indian Education for All program would become pointless and the funding could then be used for other programs, like Logical Reasoning for All. Hahaha. Just kidding. Nobody needs that.

Besides, if Montanans finally pass proposed legislation to fund charter schools, which now legally includes church schools, that money will be needed in the state education coffer to get spread thinly around the state.

The good news is that if public schools fold from lack of funding that leaves more money for more charter schools. I’m rooting for a Druid school — sports prayer times come only at new and full moons, solstices and equinoxes — but the curriculum will have a strong emphasis on flora, fauna and the earth sciences.

Hindu-based school would be challenging given the prevalence of the cattle industry in the state, but the right Buddhist school would be OK with it. And we might already have enough Jews to start a school somewhere in the state and Judaism could catch on. We’re not completely backward here.

But I think people should think bigger, wilder. Our key metaphor is a slippery slope, remember?

You just need the right paperwork approved and a curriculum. You wouldn’t even have to meet current public school standards and we could still give you public money under the legislation that was presented in the past.

That My Rent Is Too Damn High Party candidate from New York could move here, file for religious non-profit status under a name like Affordable Homes Are Too Damn Scarce Holy Church of Co-op Housing and start a school teaching kids.

That sophomore economics class would create a teachable moment, eh?

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OK, this could foretell a school of hard knocks situation at http://www.facebook.com/viewfromthenorth40 .