View from the North40: In the end, the heart wants what the heart wants

This whole thing started, as many trips down the rabbit hole of research do, with a random shared post on Facebook. This one shared a lot of cool things about horses, my passion, … buuuuuut there were just so many unsupported “facts” littered into this short essay that the nerd in me just could not let my finger hit the share button.

It’s kind of an illness in itself, being a nerd, and it’s not the easy road. It’s kind of like the thug life, but with fewer bullets and less sexiness — let’s just admit that one and move on — but the grind of researching, the compelling need to find the truth despite all odds, the disrespect, outright hostility and blatant disinterest from others. Now there’s a heroic tale and I'm waiting for the rap tribute song.

The Facebook post in question starts out with, “Recent studies conducted by the Institute of HeartMath provide a clue to explain the bidirectional ‘healing’ that happens when we are near horses.” Then it launches into “according to researchers …” and a bunch of stuff about the electromagnetic fields of human and horse hearts and how the heart has a “higher level of intelligence than the brain: A magnetometer can measure the heart's energy field radiating up to 8 to 10 feet around the human body” and says that the horse’s electromagnetic field is “five times larger than the human one.”

And not only was I pulling back on the reins, but I was also pumping the brakes with my left foot.

How is a heart smarter than a brain? Not in the way that you get advice to “listen to your heart and you’ll know what to do.” The writer was invoking researchers, which means measurable tests that supposedly prove that the heart is smarter than the brain. I want explanations, facts, data, the usual suspects. It’s the nerd code of conduct.

What I got is a full colon: and some unrelated stuff about energy fields. That’s hinky.

And the next two paragraphs talked about how being around horses is emotionally and physically therapeutic because they can change for the better your “coherent heart pattern.” Whaaaat? So many whats.

Just to be clear here. I did not imagine my column going down like this. I was going to find the original research, so I knew I was using the full and correct source, I was going to talk a bit about the research and then wrap up this gift with a brilliant and witty satirical response about the reality of being around horses, who don’t always have a positive effect on the heart — though saying so is a spoiler for the punch line.

The thing is, though, for people who like to do research, it's discovering all the clues to and then solving a mystery. Sure, there’s very little danger involved when you’re sleuthing on the internet, but clues lead to exciting revelation or other clues and more clues and information and aha! moments abound. It’s a lot of fun.

But it makes for very boring storytelling. That’s why we need some rapper-world recognition to up our street cred and to inspire the youth to become nerds.

Sadly lacking in any musical talent, rap or otherwise, and stymied on how to make the research process sexy in any way, I’ll just say that HeartMath Institute is a kind of self-help education site that, as part of their mission, shares research that supports their healing goals. Someone from another website that I wont promote crammed some of that research, a bit of the HeartMath lingo and random information from the internet together into some catchy gobbledygook for the masses.

The skinny on the whole thing was based on a doctoral dissertation “The Effect of Equine‑Assisted Psychotherapy on Emotion Regulation: Self‑Efficacy and Self‑Awareness as Potential Mediators” by Elizabeth Dampsey. She said that matching horses with people who have emotional and physical issues can influence the patients to become healthier. The dissertation went on to say that the results were remarkable enough to look into further, and will need further study because they used calm therapy horses without including random matches.

And therein lies the point I really wanted to make before that annoying person distracted me by triggering my nerd reflex: Hanging out with horses is like hanging out with people. You get what you hang out with.

If you want help calming down or staying calm, get a calm horse, but some horses can be obnoxious jerks, too. They won't help you.

On the other hand, not everyone wants a sedate horse. If you want a hard-working horse, find yourself the border collie of horses. If you want to challenge yourself to become a better person and a leader, find a horse with potential to train. You want to get jacked up and trip along through whatever mischief comes to mind, resurrect my father-in-law's last horse.

And if you want a horse that compliments your grumpy, standoffish personality, I have a friend with a Shetland pony for sale.

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That punchline might only be funny to horse people, but I'm sticking with it at http://www.facebook.com/viewfromthenorth40 .