Out Our Way: Checking the herd - Psalm 20

     Out our way, things go pretty smooth most of the time up on the Tiger Ridge. After all, the pastures are fenced, there is good water, and usually good grazing. Even so, Charlie and I would regularly go check the herd, for things were not always easy and fine.

     Sometimes the lack of rain dried out the upper reservoir and the grass simply didn't come in like it normally would, so we would have to move the herd to another pasture. Sometimes, as I have written about before, a stray would get lost and needed to be pushed back to the main herd. And at least once we found an old bull whose leg had been broken and had to be put down. That's why Big Mike sent Charlie and me up to ride "the Tiger" so often - to keep an eye on the herd.

Psalm 20 is the song of praise by someone who realized God was constantly "checking the herd" as well. I know, sometimes it doesn't seem like it: the still waters have dried up and the green pastures have turned yellow, brittle. and dry. Yet we have the Promise that we have not been forgotten. God works on His own timetable according to His own purposes - which may not be our time table nor our purposes; but the point is, God is still working.

Like many of you, I have been "rode hard and put away wet" a great deal. These past few years filled with heartbreak, illness, bitter disappointment, and seeming pointlessness have taken a huge toll. Yet - as beat up and broken down as I am - I see God remolding me into something more than I ever thought I would be. Nothing like getting tossed in the cactus to discover the gift of humility! But here's the surprise: humility is a gift! It is amazing how much clearer the world gets when you step down from your personal ivory tower and start mixing in with "mere mortals."

There is a theological term we used in seminary called "umwelt"  Yup, it's German - as so much high-falutin' theological jargon is - and what it means is literally "your surrounding world." If you are vain, arrogant, proud and snobbish, your world is tiny and barely exists beyond your nose. Humility does wonders to expand that world view, for we are no longer the center of the universe but an active participant in it. I found I became less judgmental, more willing to listen, and even able to occasionally admit I was wrong and correct the error of my ways.

Well, that's my story anyway. Where is God in the midst of my spiritual drought? Right alongside keeping me going, even when I don't know it. And, checking my backtrail, I begin to see that more clearly. The Psalmist's joy at God's love may not have been because everything worked out according to his will, but because he realized everything worked out according to God's will ... and thus to the Psalmist's eventual joy.

Be blessed and be a blessing!

Brother John

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The Rev. John Bruington is the retired pastor of First Presbyterian Church of Havre. He now lives in Colorado, but continues to write "Out Our Way." He can be reached for comment or dialogue at [email protected].