MSU Extension encourages families to communicate about legacy and estate planning

MSU News Service

BOZEMAN — At some point, parents and their adult children will face the challenge of talking about estate planning. According to Montana State University Extension educators, it is important to start these conversations early and to not let the fear of the future get in the way of having affairs in order.

Most people don’t like to acknowledge the day when parents can no longer manage on their own, let alone worry about their own future issues like deteriorating health, outliving retirement savings or facing bankruptcy caused by long-term health care costs, said Marsha Goetting, MSU Extension family economics specialist.

But eventually, something forces the subject and causes the children to act, she said.

“In my family, it was several people from my hometown in Kansas expressing concern about my mother’s driving that moved my sisters and me to take action,” said Goetting. “But as anyone who has been ‘there’ knows, we do not always make the best decisions during a family crisis.”

Goetting added that while individuals may believe the best way to minimize feelings of helplessness and stress that results from a crisis is to plan, emotionally it’s hard to talk about incapacity and death. The situation can get complicated by underlying tensions or misunderstandings between parents and children.

“Planning ahead requires anticipating potential situations such as family disagreements, dependency, disability, incapacity, death and exploring solutions to difficult problems,” said Wendy Wedum, MSU Extension Pondera County agent. “While a discussion of such topics and the legal tools needed could make family members feel uncomfortable, it’s vital that someone in the family start the conversation.”

Goetting and Wedum suggested that the adult children share their preferences and plans for the event of serious illness or death as a way to foster discussion. Parents may question the motives of adult children who express concern about estate planning but have not taken the time and effort to have their own documents prepared, such as wills, durable powers of attorney for finances, or powers of attorney for health care.

Goetting and Wedum said that because families are unique, methods of communicating about estate planning will vary, but some basic questions should be addressed, including whom the parents trust, whether they want only family members involved in the conversation, whether in-laws or adult grandchildren are included in the process, and what professionals should be consulted — attorneys, certified public accountants, insurance agents or certified financial planners.

Families should also discuss what legal tools — such as wills, living wills, trusts, financial power of attorney and health care power of attorney — and what non-legal tools — such as written directions for a funeral or memorial service, letters of last instruction or an ethical will — should be part of the estate planning process.

Rather than waiting until the coronavirus pandemic is over, Goetting and Wedum suggest holding a virtual meeting to discuss issues that could be preventing a parent from estate planning. They added to make sure that all family members present have background on key topics that will be discussed.

For additional sources, people can visit https://www.montana.edu/estateplanning/eppublications.html to review MSU Extension’s more than 40 MontGuides on estate planning. For those who do not have computer access, copies are available from county Extension or reservation offices.