You are not who you think you are

I just wanted to do a little research, to be healthy and now I don’t even know myself anymore.

Of course, I already knew that all living organism, including humans, live in a sort of symbiotic relationship with microorganisms — itty bitty bacteria and fungi and even viruses and pathogens. It’s part of why manure is good for gardens and why we are encouraged to eat live culture yogurt. It’s also why you have to “condition” a septic system. It’s also what makes beer, wine, cheese and bread, as well as sauerkraut and its Asian cousin kimchi. But those are just the loaded foods. In reality, the microbes are everywhere.

And by everywhere, apparently, scientists mean ev.er.y.where.

They’re all over the place. We even shed them and pick them up randomly, everywhere, with everyone and everything.

There are good microbes and bad microbes. Some of them make beer and cheese and some of them cause sepsis. But also, the scientists are finding, they also perform vital functions in our bodies. Not just obvious ones like breaking down foods, but also deciding what nutrients to take in and how our brains function and how well our immunity system works.

All of a sudden, I see I don’t have free will. A bunch of microbes are making these decisions for me. Apparently, though, if we feed the good bacteria and not the bad ones, then they will work in my favor. And I’m like fine, but how many microorganisms are we talking here.

Trillions up trillions of them.

Microorganisms in and on our bodies outnumber human cells 10 to 1. Granted, human cells outweigh them significantly. By mass we are about 97 percent human, but some bodily functions are determined by a kind of electoral college, and the microbes decide even though human cells outweigh them.

Add in the fact that our bodies are about 60 percent water, and I don’t know anymore if I’m a human or a giant conglomeration of aliens.

The good news is that fat cells are totally human and only have about 3 percent water content, so since I’ve gained my COVID-19 — pounds that is — I am going to assume that I am more myself than I ever have been in my life.

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Always look for the good in the bad at [email protected].