View from the North 40: It's a land-locked pirate's life, if ye seek it

I know what you’re thinking, because I’ve been thinking it, too: What this pandemic — and, frankly, all of 2020 — needs is a good old-fashioned treasure hunt.

Someone already found the $1 million treasure stashed “somewhere” in the Rocky Mountains by art dealer, author, multi-millionaire and part-time oddball Forrest Fenn. He hid that treasure more than a decade ago, and June 6 he announced someone had finally gleaned the location from his writings and they claimed the prize.

When I first heard about Finn’s treasure hunt, I thought it would be a bigger deal, right? People went crazy over it and poured through his writings to find clues to the treasure’s location. But then there was more than a decade of nothing but crickets chirping into an empty void. Well, crickets and news reports of people getting injured and dying in pursuit of the gold.

Gallatin County Law enforcement in 2019 had to rescue a guy who was ill-prepared for the hardships of Yellowstone National Park. In 2017, a pastor hunting the treasure went missing in New Mexico, and his body was found about a week later. But in 2016, a 54-year-old man went missing while searching for the treasure along the Rio Grande. His remains were found months later — not his body, his remains. That’s a whole different level of not good.

I think most people were like me and thinking that the Rocky Mountains cover a vast area across the U.S. alone — and I’d rather hike ever last square mile of it than have to study this guy’s poetry to find clues to the treasure’s hiding place.

People did it, though, and for a while they were crazy for it, but the treasure wasn’t found and it wasn’t found and it wasn’t found, and for a long time, in place of updates on the story, we’ve had nothin’ but crickets chirping into an empty void. The pandemic had its upside, though.

The treasure hunt was revived by endless days of nothing but staying at home. One guy — who Finn described on his website as from the East Coast — suffered the poetry, survived the wilderness and came out on the other side $1 million in gold and precious jewels richer.

The story made headlines, but even Finn, who is 89 years old now, was just like, “Well, that just happened.” And he let out a big sigh and went back to staring out the window. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Maybe a despondent Finn hasn’t made any further announcements since the treasure’s discovery more than a month ago, but a Michigan jeweler used his pandemic downtime for a little introspection and his decision to change his life, could change your life.

USA Today reported Wednesday that Johnny Perri of Washington Township, Michigan, had an “epiphany” during the pandemic shutdown of his business, J&M Jewelers: After 23 years in the business, a craft he learned at his father’s side, he realized that he actually hates his job.

Interestingly, with all that stay-at-home time to re-imagine the world, he decided not to just sell his $1 million worth of stock and go on a permanent vacation. He has created a series of small treasure hunts across the wilds of Michigan for people to find the treasure.

I know, the wilds of Michigan and not quite as wild as the Rockies, but there’s still excitement, and on the plus side, hopefully less death.

Finn’s treasure hunt was like the Powerball lottery, big risk, high odds and one large payout. Perri’s treasure hunt is like scratch-off tickets, smaller payout, but more people get to win.

People pay to join the treasure hunt, but each hunt has limited participants, so 100,000 scantily masked people won’t be converging on Michigan all at once for a good, old-fashioned throw down over a handful of gold in the Wolverine State.

Still, Perri has four treasure hunts set up so far and the first three are sold out already. People do like finding treasure.

Maybe that’s why so many people have flocked to the Treasure State during a pandemic.

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Hello, out-of-stater with a cough and achy body, might I interest you in a treasure map of Michigan at http://www.facebook.com/viewfromthenorth40.com .