George Ferguson Column: I've always known what I've had in the spring, and I've never taken it for granted

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. We’ve all heard that saying a million times, and, probably, we hear it more the older we get.

For many of us, it probably has rung true at one point or another in our adults lives. After all, the older we get, the more we start losing things.

But, when it comes to my tennis coaching career, that famous saying couldn’t be more wrong.

I’ve always known exactly what I’ve had in being the Havre High head tennis coach. And I can assure you all, my readers, my family, my friends, my coaching colleagues, and especially, every single player who has stepped foot on our tennis courts in my 18-plus years at HHS, that I’ve never taken you, or this, for granted.

Again, I’ve always known how lucky I am.

Having said that, and, just writing this, expressing this publicly, is getting me all choked up again, I also didn’t think I wouldn’t have tennis to coach because of a pandemic. That isn’t the reason I ever thought I’d have to confront not having Blue Pony tennis in my world on a day-to-day basis.

No, I thought the only way that would happen would be when I retired, and I’m nowhere near ready for that. In fact, back on March 3, I stood in front of the parents of the 2020 Blue Pony tennis team and told them I was just as excited, if not more, to start this season, than I was 18 years ago. And I had expressed that to our players just one day earlier. I meant it, too. I know, and fully understand that coaches get burnt out. They get tired, and they get to a point where they know it’s time to do something else. They know it’s time to let someone else take the reins.

Well, I’m not there yet. Not even close. In fact, it’s just the opposite. As the years go by, I feel even more energized about an upcoming tennis season as I did the one before. As the years go by, I’ve devoted more and more of my time to the program I love so much. So much time that it really is a year-around gig for me now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And so, these times really hurt. That players meeting March 2, the parents meeting the next night, and the first week of practice — which turned out to be our only week of practice — that seems like forever ago.

It seems like it was a full tennis season ago.

And yet, there is no tennis season. There is no spring sports season, and it’s left me feeling very lost. The fact that, this time of year, I should be doing what I was born to do, coach Havre High tennis, the fact that I’m not, it’s been frustrating, confusing and downright sad. Day after day, I’ve run the gamut of emotions, and the biggest reason why I’m still so emotional? It’s the players. It’s the kids. Not being able to be around them, coach them, teach them, or even interact with them, that’s why this hurts so much.

It hurts because, the players, the student-athletes, that’s what these sports are all about in the first place. That’s why we do what we do. It’s about you kids. It always has been, and it always will be.

Of course, the kids, they’re also why, canceling our season will turn out to be, in the end, the right thing. Because, if you’re a coach, nothing is more important than the safety of your players, and, with COVID-19 nowhere near out of our lives, safety is just not something that can be guaranteed right now.

But, just because it’s the right thing to do, that doesn’t mean that I, or Tony Vigliotti, or John Ita or Brian Campbell or anyone else around here who coaches a spring sport has to like it. No we don’t like it one bit.

I was asked about the midway point in April if I had made my peace with the fact that there wasn’t going to be a spring sports season. Of course, that was before the season was canceled and while I was holding on to a sliver of hope. I think, deep down, we all knew we weren’t playing this year. So, my answer to that was, no, I have not in any way made my peace with it. I accept it. I have to live with it. But in no way have I made my peace with it, and I honestly won’t have total peace with it until next spring, when we’re back on the tennis courts. It won’t be until then that I will feel any sense of peace for what we lost in 2020.

In other words, I’m not getting over this. I can’t. In many ways, I don’t even want to, because getting over it, in my opinion, would devalue just how much I love coaching Blue Pony tennis. Making my peace with it would, in a way, contradict just how much I loved the 2020 Blue Pony tennis team, and how badly I wanted to take that journey with them this spring. Moving on would mean, I’ve moved on from our amazing seniors, and I am not willing to do that. Those seniors mean so much to me, and they deserve better than what they got this spring.

No, there’s no way I’m getting over this, no matter how much it was the right thing to do. Oh, I’ll go forward. I’ll be strong, and I will look forward to coaching the golf team this fall, and we will eventually get back into tennis mode. And we will come back next spring. All of us who love coaching spring sports, we will be back. Count on that.

However, nothing will replace the heartache I feel for what we’ve lost, and believe me, with how much I love coaching this sport, with how big a part of my life the Blue Pony tennis program is, and with how important each and every one of our great student-athletes at Havre High are, I lost a heck of a lot more than just watching some tennis matches.

All of us who love spring sports, we lost our ability to pursue our passion in life, and at least for one year, that isn’t something we can get back.

Of course, so many have lost so much during this pandemic, and there will be more loss to come. So, I’m in no way asking anyone to feel sorry for a high school tennis coach. I don’t want that. But, what I do want every one of you reading this right now to know is … I knew. I’ve always known. I know.

I know how lucky I am. I'm lucky to have Blue Pony tennis, being a part of Blue Pony athletics, and having already coached so many amazing kids the last 18 years. I’ve always known exactly what I’ve had.

I have never taken being the Blue Pony tennis coach for granted, not for one day. I’ve never taken the amazing kids at Havre High for granted either. I’ve been so lucky to coach you all. I’ve never taken any of it for granted, and I never will.