The Scriptures on Finances - Trust - including financial - is critical to marriage

This week we will continue to look at some of the information presented by Howard Dayton in his book “Money and Marriage God’s Way.”

It may take time for a Christian couple to learn how to be a blessing to one another when it comes to financial matters. Many couples choose 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 as one of the Scriptures to be read at their wedding. Love is patient and love is kind. That says easy but does hard, as my father-in-law used to say.

When one spouse is not stewarding money the way the other spouse thinks he or she should there is a potential for a fight. Many couples divorce over financial problems. Some spouses cannot forgive their mate when poor choices have lead to tremendous financial strain.

As husbands we need to remember that our role is to love our wife, which is characterized by serving and caring. I know that if I want my prayers to go unhindered I need to give honor to my wife.

A wife’s role is to help her husband. I know this is not politically correct but as I tell my congregation, I am interested in being Biblically correct. When a wife submits to her husband’s leadership I believe that she is positioning herself to be blessed. Author Don Meredith defines submission as “falling in line with your husband in order that oneness can take place.”

Trust is critical in marriage. We make deposits and withdrawals in our spouse’s trust account. Trust deposits can be made by communicating, by being honest, by being transparent with money, and by blessing our spouse with our financial decisions. Withdrawals include being dishonest with money, lack of disclosure, not seeking our spouse’s advice regarding money and not wanting money to be a blessing to our spouse. If you want your spouse to change try loving, praying, and blessing them.

John 10:10 states “I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full.” If we are going to have the type of marriage that will bless God then we need to adhere to Biblical principles. We are to provide for our families while working as if we are working for the Lord. The question is, “How much is enough?” In a future article I will address this issue.

One of the questions that I ask a couple during premarriage counseling is “What do you do when you argue or fight?” Some spouses play old tapes and keep bringing up issues from the past. Certainly we have to deal with issues but while we are discussing concerns we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

There may be times in our marriages where we need more wisdom. We need to ask God because He is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him.

When we obtain a victory in our walk with the Lord it would be good to celebrate. Philippians 4:4 instructs us to rejoice in the Lord always. We are also instructed to build each other up. Try working together towards a shared goal. Attempt to compliment your spouse or express thankfulness. People are not mind readers. Unexpressed gratitude feels like ingratitude.

Instead of concentrating on the things that you view as wrong in your spouse, focus on the good. Don’t look for a quick fix to your financial situation but remember that steady plodding brings prosperity. We need to be faithful and do what we can do. We need to remember to love God and love one another as we work through the different stages and financial challenges of life.

Let’s continue to believe that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. May God bless you big.

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This is the ninth column in a series by Kevin Barsotti, pastor at Ark Church in Havre, about financial matters and their treatment in the Christian faith.