View from the North 40: Dam the weather, full comfort ahead

O, Canada, our friendly neighbors to the north, keep your lousy weather to yourself.

You and your polite people seem like such greet-you-with-warm-cookies kind of friendly — right up to the point you decide to hammer us with back-to-back, arctic-wind driven storms.

What’s up with that arctic weather? Eh?

I was game for the first storm. I mean, it is winter. Cold and snow are expected at some point in the season — apparently our ecology relies on it and I’ve come to terms with that. Certainly, we needed something to put a stop to the fires and drought, and 30-something below and a couple feet of snow will do that, even when driven by high winds.

That said, now quit.

Frankly, I think we can do better with some homegrown weather from Washington and Idaho. It would come straight from the ocean with lots of moisture and a little Cascade and Rockies snow-capped mountain chill brought on by altitude and the seasonal tilting of Earth away from the sun. However, it would have less of the frozen-tundra, perennially ice-capped-seas, frigid-to-the-bone element to it.

I say, we go American made with this winter weather. America first. Congress needs to renegotiate whatever antiquated, unfair North American Free Weather Agreement we have with our northern neighbors that allows this kind of weather to come across the border in the form of arctic air masses and arctic weather streams, unhampered and causing all manner of damage and expense.

This is weather that we here in the Northern Tier states pay for with high heating bills, high vehicle gas and fuel bills, increased taxes to pay for snow removal, infrastructure repair and livestock loss, along with incalculable added expenses in water line and vehicle repairs, additional clothing, medical bills from shoveling, and more, including added food bills as we fuel our human bodies against the cold. All these things burden our hardworking American families.

In fact, I suggest we build a wall to keep arctic winter out of the lower 48 states. I saw it on “Game of Thrones.” It’s a big wall. A huge wall.

Sure, the TV series’ wall did allow the occasional winter-invasion across to more southerly countries, like us, but I think with American ingenuity and our devil-may-care attitude for throwing tax money and resources at our problems, we can build a better weather wall, taller, stronger, more winter impenetrable.

Alaskans will be armed with parkas and survival gear as residents of an American outpost in the hinterlands. They’ll be fine.

The wall will be glorious.

While we’re at it, let’s build a weather wall between us and Mexico as well. Throw out the whole NAFWA weather agreement with that country as well. I’m sure that’s where heat and drought come from, and we can save our Southern Tier states, as well.

We can beef up that wall already planned for our southern border to also keep out those miserable equatorial heat waves that comes across our border with Mexico. I think even Californians will like this wall.

America will once again be the land of milk and honey, and its people, our people, we the people will have the weather we deserve, that our ancestors fought and worked for, a land with moderate, livable, thrive-able, temperatures that we can be proud to pass to our children, and their children, and so on and so forth, even if we don’t have children.

Somebody call the president, I think we can make this happen.

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We’ll covfefe the tarnation out of this winter business at http://www.facebook.com/viewfromthenorth40.com.