View from the North 40: Please don't call it men's fashion

Remember when perfectly groomed, makeup-wearing men in stylish clothes looked like women but somehow claimed they were men — not just pretty males, but actual men — and the world called them metrosexual? Which still didn’t sound manly, by the way, but people in the style industry didn’t understand the difference so it was OK — for far too long.

Then one day some fashion-forward style guru saw a guy who looked like a useful man and said, “Ohmigawd, I can do that. I can make that look pretty!” So all the metrosexuals wiped off most of their makeup, threw on a flannel shirt and some light-duty work boots, and grew a big beard and lots of hair which they could spend a lot of time primping. Thus started the era of the lumbersexual urban male.

And when they didn’t know what else to do with all that hair, they put it up in a bun. A bun. In an attempt to make that right they called it a man bun.

I saw one in person one day.

It’s true. I thought this woman loading stuff into the trunk of her car had beautiful black hair pulled into a perfect, messy bun (which is a real thing, not a contradiction in terms). Her hair was so beautiful it caught my eye as I was driving down the street. Then she turned sideways and I saw the full beard. I swear to you, I clearly heard Aerosmith in my head belting out “Dude looks like a lady” like a sound track for a movie scene.

Sometimes I doubt what I saw and wonder if the person was just a bearded lady on vacation from the circus. It was unfortunate that I couldn’t get around the block fast enough to get a photo. Nonetheless, males in man buns are real; a few still exist in primarily urban areas.

The lumbersexual look as a whole seems to have gotten a boost this year to its staying power.

Apparently, Canada has a reserve of actual lumber men, which we called lumberjacks back in the old-timey days. They participate in ax-throwing contests, among other undoubtedly truly manly things.

Reuters reported that bearded-guy Thomas Morel of France saw the ax-throwing competitions while on vacation, went home to Paris and opened what can only be described as an ax-throwing range. It’s like a pistol range but with axes, which look a lot like their smaller cousins, called hatchets, but the ax name sounds more manly.

Don’t worry, Morel said, the axes are blunt and no alcohol is allowed on the premises.

Research revealed that the craze has recently hit American cities as well. The axes are blunt here, too, but the American version has an element of danger, beer.

It appears, though, that the common denominator remains on both sides of the Atlantic, the bearded male. (Thankfully, the beard didn't catch on with the women.)

Morel is pushing to include ax throwing in the 2024 Olympics in Paris, so the lumbersexual might be with us for a while.

Let’s just hope the man bun isn't included in the official Olympic team uniform.

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I wonder what look-alike style will be next? Mechanicsexual? Astronautsexual? Nerdsexual? I-got-a-regular-bill-paying-jobsexual? That might be alright at http://www.facebook.com/viewfromthenorth40.com.