Pastor's Corner: Finding hope and peace in mourning

“In the world you shall have tribulation,” Jesus said. More than 2,000 years later, we look around at our world and think, “He got that right!” In fact, we need look no further than our own backyard. Right now, for example, I can think of at least two or three families in my circle of friends who are dealing with serious health issues, to name just one area of concern.

Some circumstances have been so severe or lasted so long, that people have begun to lose hope. Once that happens, not only are we dealing with the illness itself but we may also feel ourselves spiraling down into despair, which adds to the suffering. “Will my father ever be pain-free again?” “When will my child run and play with the other kids in our neighborhood again?” “Lord, do you see what’s going on here? Do you hear my prayers?” Those are very normal questions in painfully raw situations.

I write today not to try to answer the questions that arise in our trying times but rather to offer a few words that may encourage you and perhaps bring a ray of hope. My first husband died in a climbing accident. Shortly after he passed away, I stumbled upon the book “Lament for a Son” by Nicholas Wolterstorff, whose son had died in a climbing accident. Many comments in the book were very comforting to me. One that still stands out to this day is the recognition that when I am grieving I don’t need answers so much as I need someone to care. Nicholas says it this way: “To comfort me, you have to come close. Come sit beside me on my mourning bench.” To those of you who are grieving right now, I pray that someone will come sit on the bench with you. To those of us who might be watching the mourner from a distance, I pray that we will take our turn sitting on the bench.

At least two local churches are opening their hearts and doors to those who need someone to sit on the bench right now. Fifth Avenue Church is offering a grief support group, which just started this week (and there is still time to join). Call them at 265-7337 for more information. On March 6, St. Jude Thaddeus Catholic Church will once again offer New Beginnings for those affected by the loss of a spouse through death, separation, or divorce. Call Sue at 265-5703 or Kathy at 398-5381.

I would also encourage you to talk to God about your pain. Even if you’re having a hard time believing in Him. One of the things I love about the Psalms is their raw honesty. King David wrote several of them, and he talked to God about everything. He talked when he was angry, he talked when he was sad, he talked when he was running away from enemies and hiding in a cave, he talked when he was rejoicing, he poured out his heart no matter what (see Psalm 62:8). Not only did he help his own soul in that way, but his words ring true with me today and help me process my feelings and find healing for my soul.

The Bible says many things about why Jesus came to earth to live as a human being. For our purposes today, I want to emphasize this one: “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)

Jesus gets it. He knows what you’re going through and He wants to offer His grace and mercy.

Furthermore, Father God gets it. He knows what it’s like to lose a loved one. He watched His beloved, one and only Son, die on the cross. Both the Father and Jesus suffered the agony of having their eternally-perfect love and communion temporarily severed as Jesus took on all the sins of all humanity. Jesus cried from the cross, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” And we know why. It’s because He loves you!

I’ll close with this. Jesus walked among us, went through experiences we go through, and thankfully said many things that we can look to for comfort and encouragement. At the beginning of this article I quoted just a portion of an exhortation He gave His disciples when He was preparing them for His death. Here’s the full quote: “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33).

If you are on the mourning bench today, may you find hope, rest, comfort, love, peace — yes, and even some joy — from the love of God and from those who come to sit on the bench with you.

——

Pastor Vicki Barrows

Abundant Life Ministries