Practical Pastoring: Proclaiming faith at funerals

Conducting funerals is an integral function of pastoring. I cannot think of a better opportunity to proclaim the name of Jesus than during a funeral. People may be grieving at a funeral, but they may also have a heightened awareness of the still small voice of the Holy Spirit; more so than at any other time.

In a previous book, I stated that I like to script many of my comments at funerals. You can always add to the script. However, if you begin to cry, it is much easier to read your message than to preach from your heart. Hopefully, your first funeral will not be a close friend or relative.

Funeral preparation and funerals themselves will consume a significant amount of your time. I encourage families to share memories and stories about their loved one with me. With contributions from the family, I am able to perform a more personal and comforting funeral service. Sometimes I write out the life story of the person whose burial I am presiding over. I can then add scriptures into his or her life story. Permit the Holy Spirit to flow through you and help you obtain the mind of Christ during the funeral preparation. Trust the Holy Spirit when you perform the service.

Funerals are for the living. I once buried my neighbors’ beloved dog in their backyard. We had a meaningful graveside service for the couple. Years later I participated in both of their funeral services.

If you build trusting relationships with people, the funeral preparation and memorial service will go much smoother than a service you perform for people you never knew. If you know the person who passed away, you can personalize the service.

I performed a graveside memorial service for my grandmother who lived to be 102. She loved to play solitaire, so at the service I stacked the deck and played a game of solitaire where she won the game. I was able to make a correlation between the winning solitaire kings and King Jesus.

In a similar example, I conducted a memorial service at the Ark Church for a man who loved to play Texas Hold ‘Em. I again stacked the deck and dealt the departed a 7 of clubs and a 2 of hearts as his hold cards. That is considered the weakest starting hand in poker. However, it became the best hand by the end of the game. The demonstration illustrated how even if we have a terrible beginning hand in life, we can finish well with Jesus if we faithfully play the cards we are dealt.

Humor can be effective and soothing at funerals. Work in some funny stories about the life of the recently departed loved one. You can take a sad situation and turn it for good. This result is especially true if the departed was a believer in Jesus.

Sometimes, you will have to perform a funeral not knowing if the person was saved. These situations can be difficult. God decides who has put their trust in Him. I always give a thoughtful salvation message at each funeral or memorial service. Memorize your favorite salvation scriptures and sow seeds at the service. Encourage the living to choose a life committed to Jesus.

Do not water down the Word to comfort the flesh of those in mourning. God’s plan for all of our flesh is death. Loved ones need to hear the Good News of the Gospel. Pastor Dan encouraged me to boldly proclaim the resurrection from the dead. I hope that you will receive that encouragement as well.

Funerals can be difficult when the departed was a beloved family member and a believer in Jesus. Funerals become extremely challenging when those attending are not believers and are bitter. These people may be hurt from something they perceived to have happened in the past. They may be upset because the departed did not leave them anything in the will. If there is land or a house or cash left in the estate, you can be confident that someone is not going to be happy. The family can be reminded of what the Colonial American statesman Patrick Henry said: “This is all the inheritance I give to my dear family. The religion of Christ will give them one which will make them rich indeed.”

I have witnessed people exhibit ugly behavior at funerals. The people are in pain and may have significant issues. It is not your job to fix people. You are mandated to continue proclaiming the Name that is above all names. His name is Jesus. Keep the congregation’s eyes focused on Jesus. Tell people the truth about God. Do your speaking of the truth in the spirit of love. The Bible teaches us that God is love. Use the authority that God has given you to help people concentrate on the King and His kingdom.

There are those who will be upset with you when you teach that Jesus is the Way and the only way to get to heaven. Good people who do good things may still want to earn their way to heaven. People who live for themselves will be uncomfortable hearing that we should be led by the Holy Spirit. The goal is to one day hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Remember, you are not responsible for people’s reactions to the Word. You are to be obedient to the instructions that the Holy Spirit gives you. Embrace the opportunity to invite people to have a living relationship with Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit. Point people to Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to others through you.

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This article is part of Practical Pastoring: Mentoring Growth Letters from a Senior Pastor to a New Pastor, Book Four. The author responds to his pastor’s letters to him from twenty years ago when he began his pastoral journey.