Practical Pastoring: Book Five: How to relax

As a person with a Type A personality, I find it has taken me a long time to learn how to go with the flow. I have had to learn how to work at enjoying life and having fun. I spent years as a black or white person in my thinking. I was either working or resting. I had to learn how to relax and rest in Jesus while I was working. Doing so was not an easy task for me.

At times, I would get so focused on a project that my relationships with co-workers would suffer. At other times, I put in so much extra time working on projects that my relationships with my wife and family suffered.

A pastor and his family need boundaries. Someone will always want your time or resources. Learn to cooperate with the Holy Spirit so that you can fulfill your pastoral duties and not wind up destroying your marriage, your family, and your health.

In the middle of learning how to relax you will find that life happens. Responsibilities need to be met, emergencies occur, and the rest of the world keeps moving on. If you do not learn how to relax, perhaps the Lord will allow a set of circumstances to garner your attention and force you to make adjustments.

Several years ago my youngest son decided to sell his motorcycle. A lady who attended our church wanted her husband to have a motorcycle, as they had only one vehicle. Kade decided that God would bless him more if he gave rather than sold his motorcycle. As a serious giver, I jumped at the chance to help give away the bike.

At that time in my life, I rode a motorcycle to work, so I had all of the safety gear. I told Kade I would grab the title and ride his bike to the home of the family. He should follow me in my pickup.

When riding a motorcycle I always wear a jacket; but since that was a short trip, I put on my helmet, skipping the jacket and leathers. I rode the bike up the hill where the family lived and parked the motorcycle beside the family’s van. Kade had parked my pickup facing downhill. As I dismounted from the bike, I looked at my pickup and it began rolling downhill. With my helmet still on I started sprinting toward my rolling pickup. Evidently the parking brake was not set or not set tight enough on my pickup.

There was a park down the street. I did not want the pickup to crash into any people so my pursuit was passionate. I grabbed the door handle of the runaway pickup, hoping it was not locked. Thankfully the door opened. I grasped the bottom of the steering wheel and immediately my feet went out from under me. I was being dragged along the pavement. It did not take long to figure out that my plan was not working and I was in big trouble. I let go of the steering wheel and the rear tire ran over the length of my body.

In shock, lying in the middle of the street, I watched my pickup race down the hill. It traveled at least three or four blocks, swerved, and darted between a cinder block fence and a fire hydrant. Missing three parked cars, the pickup crashed into a tree with a loud smash.

I could hear a woman saying, “Are you all right? Are you all right?” Stunned, I said I was OK. Kade, who had been in the family’s house visiting with the wife, had not seen what had happened. He ran up to me and saw me sprawled in the middle of the street, flailing with my helmet on and no bike or pickup near. He started laughing at me. I was hurting, and he was laughing.

I jumped up. The neighbor lady gave me a ride to my pickup. I told her I was OK. I offered a new tree to the guy whose tree my pickup had assaulted. He said not to worry about it. The scar on the tree is still there to this day.

As a project oriented person, I was attempting to sign the title to the motorcycle over to the family. Kade and I continued to the Havre Police Department where I reported what had happened. The officer probably thought I was crazy.

We went home, and I planned to shower. That was when I recognized that I had some problems. There were tire tracks on the back of my legs, road rash on my left arm, and various other injuries over my torso.

Not recognizing the shock my system was experiencing, I started giving orders to my family. I told my wife to go back to work, my oldest son to get a job, and issued some further tasks to my youngest son. Finally, I listened to my wife, and went to the emergency room.

When I was being strapped to a special board and receiving an MRI, the magnitude of the situation finally hit me. Following a $20,000.00 test, several weeks of bandages and creams, and some rest, I was good to go.

Our family takes a trip to Glacier National Park each year. That year I looked so bad that a tourist asked me if I had been mauled by a Grizzly bear.

I remain a Type A personality, a giver, and at times, impulsive. I want to embrace the concept of rest so that I am not forced to rest. I learned from my pastor that ministry is a marathon, not a sprint. I want to finish well. I need to embrace the concept of rest and practice what I preach. Please learn from my mistakes in this area.

Kevin Barsotti

Ark Church

——

This article is part of Practical Pastoring: Mentoring Growth Letters from a Senior Pastor to a New Pastor, Book Five. The author responds to his pastor’s letters to him from twenty years ago when he began his pastoral journey.