View from the North 40: Leading edge of home decor

In pursuit of the perfect flooring for my some-day new-to-us home, considerable research and countless hours of analysis paralysis have led me to this: I’m bringing dirt floors back into fashion.

Think about it before you dismiss the idea.

First of all, eco-friendly options are all the rage. And I don’t think we can get more ecologically grassroots than we do with dirt.

Plus, it’s immeasurably practical and economical.

What are the most time- and money-consuming issues encountered with flooring? Purchase price, installation, daily cleaning, maintenance and future replacement.

Dirt is free. In fact, unless you are buying space above the first floor in a building, you already had dirt floors that you probably covered up with really expensive concrete or floor joists.

Are you trying to decide between linoleum and wood flooring, maybe tile? Skip it. Just grab a shovel and a wheelbarrow and you, too, can make any floor, even an existing floor, into a dirt floor. For free.

Even if you want some fancy dirt from a different hole, getting it hauled in is cheaper than most flooring. If you’re working with what you have, though, just fetch it with a wheelbarrow. It costs you a little sweat and justifies a calorie-laden pizza and ice cream supper.

Win-win, baby.

Tired of sweeping and mopping? Hint: Your floor is made of dirt, tracking in more dirt is — and I think this should be a technical term coined by the dirt floor industry — no big whoop. Seriously, come on in, folks, keep your shoes on.

Did you drop a can or a knife on the floor and leave a mark? Just add a cup of dirt from the yard into the divot and you have instant patch.

Spill some milk on the floor? Dig up the affected dirt and replace it with a bucket of fresh dirt. No big whoop.

Is the spilled substance something that will dry up and break down quickly in the sun? Just haul it outside for a couple days and bring it back in to fill the hole you made. No need to fetch new dirt, just put an end table over the hole, or a traffic cone that you didn’t liberate from a street project. An old tire will do. Anything will do. Make the dog lay there until you can fill the hole back up.

Want to replace the floor to freshen the look? Just dig up the old dirt, bring in the new, tamp it down a bit. Bingo. A child could do it. And you can use the old flooring as a raised garden outside.

You would have to work to make dirt flooring complicated.

Sure, I could see my obsessive compulsive, slightly hyperactive mother saying something like, “Knock that mud off your shoes outside. I just scraped this floor level and I don’t want you and your mud clumps in here lumping-up my floor.”

She would undoubtedly figure out how to bring out a gloss in the dirt. She has skills like that.

Me though? I’d be a dirt floor vigilante just letting mine go as dull-as-dirt brown as nature intended.

No more freaking out because someone is tracking dirt in the house. It’s just contributing to longevity of the floor.

Raising too much dust? Just spritz the floor with a little water, or spill a glass of it. It's all good. No big whoop.

With all the time and money I save, I’ll start a campaign to encourage folks everywhere to abandon their brooms and mops. Maybe I’ll call it the “Go Brown” revolution.

(“Go brown, put dirt down” at [email protected].)