View from the North 40: News Roundup: Word up, homies

Pamville News editors have meticulously scoured world news sources to bring readers highlights of importance.

The nerds of India

Yahoo News reported this week that Tata Motors Ltd., a car manufacturer in India, will be changing the name of its new Zica car before it is sold to the public because the name sounds like the new Zika virus that is gearing up to be the new pandemic to sweep the world, wreak havoc and endanger lives.

Even corporations like to make healthy choices.

No word that executives are going to change the business name, though. The company also owns Jaguar and Land Rover brands, both renown for their beautifully styled vehicles, so you can expect that they will be coming out with a bodacious set of Tatas soon.

French word police

The French people are particular about their language and maintaining its purity. They have a national delegation that oversees word usages and ensures that no words from other languages — most notably English — slip into common usage. The delegation also oversees other aspects of the language, such as official spellings of words.

While this seems like a placid and studious undertaking, the French people do not kid around about their language and online news source Mirror.co.uk reports that recent proposals have people up in arms.

Some of the changes involve new spellings of 2,000 common words, like onion was spelled “oignon,” but now is “ognon.” Feel the people’s pain.

As if this weren’t unspeakably horrible enough, the commission is doing away with the circumflex — the tiny, pointy hat-like accent mark over vowels. Words like “maîtresse” should now be written “maitresse.” Such a scandal.

Take a moment to catch your breath, gather you thoughts. It’s a tough bit of news. Also, you know the French are prone to riots, so stay off the streets.

Meanwhile back in English

The mother of all English dictionaries is the Oxford English Dictionary. It is 20 volumes long — yes. It’s so full of words and stuff that they had to break it into 20 different books.

The OED committee overseeing the approval of words to include in the dictionary has approved another long list accepted as legitimate language.

It includes a small handful of slang words that are so rude I’m not allowed to print them here and words like “har de har.” Exactly, you know this phrase from your childhood, before the snappy comeback part of your brain was fully developed: “That was so funny I forgot to laugh, har de har.”

Who knew it was wordable? (I just made that up. “Wordable” is not a word. But if it’s ever accepted into the OED, you read it hear first.)

Also added were: 1) “freegan,” which is a play off “vegan” and describes people who reject consumerism by dressing in, furnishing their home with and eating whatever they can salvage for free or cheap (honestly, they had me right up to the salvaged food, like, that part of a sandwich some stranger just threw away). And 2) both “yarnstorm” and “yarn bomb,” which refer to dressing outdoor, public fixtures, like light poles and benches, in their own knitted or crocheted clothing. I didn’t know there was such a thing to be needing a name.

I would have just said, “What the yamma-yowza, are those people doing?” But that’s just me. (And yamma-yowza isn’t a word. I was just trying it out. I’m thinking, no on that one.)

Nobody seems to be protesting these changes to the English language. So don’t come complaining to me if one day you find yourself har de harring it up while eating your freegan moldy meatball with slightly slimy lettuce and something that looks like mayonnaise sandwich next to a dumpster that’s wearing a prettier sweater than the one you have on.

(Happy Super Bowl to the football folks. You know an ape in Utah predicted the Panthers for the win, right? The Denver Post reported that, so it must be legit at [email protected].)