The Christmas Experts

If it were somehow possible to make a present-packed, candy-crammed, stocking-stuffed, family-filled Christmas holiday better, 7-year-old Aiden of Mrs. Wilkin's second-grade class would add trick or treating in the mix of the most popular holiday of the year.

Lincoln-McKinley Primary School has no shortage of "Christmas specialists," Principal Bitz said, as she passed through a herd of chattering students on their way back from recess.

Before imparting branches of knowledge from their towering tree of Christmas know-how, two young men from Mrs. Wilting's class, who would occasionally grin mischievously, let slip why they were really so willing to share their Christmas expertise with the world.

Raspy-voiced Brayden and fidgety Kenyon both wanted to be in the newspaper. They wanted to be in the newspaper because then they would be famous. And they wanted to be famous so they could be millionaires. And how did Brayden and Kenyon plan to spend all that money? The 7-year-olds were going to buy cars.

When it comes to what the developing minds of Lincoln-McKinley think of when they hear the word "Christmas," older generations can rest assured that not everything in this once-perfect world has been spoiled. Children still connect the holiday with presents, joy and family. And as far as what they liked best about Christmas, the top answers presented a showdown between presents and Jesus' birth.

Aside from Selah and Kenyon, who have superhero-like memories that enable them to remember their very first Christmases, most of the kids remembered Christmases spent with family the kids don't get to see as often - grandparents in Arizona, a brother in Bozeman. But nobody had a Christmas memory like Kalistasia of Mrs. Meldrum's third grade class.

"Last year, I was awake and I heard hoof beats on my roof. I will never forget that," she said.

The students of Lincoln-Mckinley were mostly stumped when it came to talk about gifts they didn't like. But if there was a smidge of disapproval, a gift or two that sparked anything less than boundless joy, it would be the year Amyie got "mostly socks" and the time Jalia got a doll that left hard-to-remove hair dye on her hand.

When interviewing kids, it's wise to know which questions run the chance of causing a riot. Ask a 7- or 8-year old what he or she wants for Christmas and answers - once the broil has been brought back under control - will range from the latest "Star Wars" toys to .22 caliber rifles to American Girl dolls to not one, not two, but three cats ... unless Lila is asked.

What does Lila of Mrs. Meldrum's third-grade class want this Christmas?

"I want a metal detector to see what kind of history is behind my house," she said.