View from the North 40: The ugly creatures great and small

Cecil the lion, yes, I’ve been avoiding the topic. It’s a matter of prudence and respect to the issue.

In case you are among the 1 in 1.02567 million people who doesn’t know what I’m talking about: a hunter from the U.S. went on a dream-come-true lion hunt in Zimbabwe. His guides lured in an older male lion and the American shot and killed the lion with a bow and arrow.

Of course this isn’t the end of the story.

The lion was part of a 10-year study on the Hwange Game Reserve. He was photographed — a lot. He was popular among the masses. His death was long and drawn-out. The public knew him by name. They now know the hunter by name as well. It’s not going well for him.

Humans around the globe are outraged and crying for justice for the “murder” of the majestic lion who “leaves behind” six “wives” and several “children.” They are umbrageous over man’s inhumanity to nature.

On the other hand, a growing segment of the population is saying that, while the circumstances surrounding the lion’s death are unfortunate, in the larger scheme of things humans do much worse to humans every day and these incidents get relatively no press.

In fact, they have been citing stats, on topics like murder, suicide, starvation and war casualties, which are, literally, unprintable in a humor column. (There is no law against it, but I think there is an unwritten moral code, and you know we're all about morals at Pamville.)

These people claim that man’s inhumanity to man is so astounding that one lion’s death should not even register on an inhumanity-humanity scale.

With all due respect to both parties and their sobering issues, I call on the public to consider an aspect of the controversy which has, thus far, been neglected by, like, everybody: What about man’s inhumanity to the ugly creatures of the world.

I can no longer be silent on the issue.

Cecil was killed July 1. How many hyenas were killed on that same date. Nobody knows. Nobody cares. Hyenas aren’t “majestic” enough to track.

Everybody loves elephants. Conservationists have struggled and fought for decades to save them from senseless slaughter for their ivory tusks. But the rhinoceros? Those poor, awkward, homely lumps were hunted until some subspecies were extinct before anyone noticed or thought to care about their rotting, hornless carcasses.

Don’t kid yourselves. This callousness happens in the U.S., too. The powerful insecticide DDT was killing of birds and fish for decades, but no one said a thing until they realized it was killing of the mighty bald eagle. Forsooth!

How do you think that made the dying magpies feel?

The golden halo over pretty creatures, especially humans has been studied far and wide.

News flash, pretty people are given preference in all aspects of life — except, oddly, pretty women in math and the hard sciences. Apparently, they don’t meet the same golden halo level of the sexy female medical doctor fantasy, so these female scientists should not be troubling their pretty little heads over such weighty, sciency matters.

But I digress; this isn't a gender issue, so we’ll be moving along now.

In one popular beauty-prejudice study, two women of comparable age, stature and coloring — one beautiful by our cultural standards and the other plain — were dressed similarly and coached on how to read a children’s book aloud to a group of grade-schoolers. Based solely on the readings, the general consensus from the youngsters was that the pretty woman was more likable and even smarter.

This and repeat studies show that we are either indoctrinated to be prejudiced in favor of fairly early, or we’re hardwired for it.

Either way ... gray pigeons? They are disgusting poop-scattering public and health nuisances. Glorious white doves released at countless weddings and other grand ceremonies? They are pigeons also. Ha!

Yes, they are pretty pigeons, but they are just as likely to scatter poop on your picnic as their homely brethren.

Wild mustangs of the American West are such proud and iconic creatures of pure beauty and freedom, and it should be criminal to round them up off the rugged ranges of the Western states for captivity or slaughter … said no wild burro. Ever.

The translation of the burros’ “heehaw” cry is “good riddance, pretty pony.” Yes, they are bitter. People call them asses. That's ugly.

Oh, the inhumanity of man.

(It’s enough to make the plain people cry at [email protected].)