Women tell of coping with mental illness

Marie Jackson had a rough childhood. She had an alcoholic father and was sexually abused by a farmhand.

She enjoyed spending time with the pollywogs on the pond, but didn’t interact well with people.

Jackson overcame her childhood problems to make a successful career in teaching in Detroit. She then went to law school, but her life fell apart as her mental illness took over her life.

Jackson detailed her rebound Tuesday to a meeting of people hoping to re-form an affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, called NAMI, in Havre.

Jackson is president of the Lewistown affiliate of NAMI-Montana.

NAMI supports people with mental illness and their friends and relatives, while educating the public about problems facing people with the disease.

Crystal Laufer, who is heading up the effort to form a Havre affiliate, said there is a tremendous need to help people in Hill County.

A lot of people suffer in silence in the country, she said. Joining a group like NAMI can help people on their way to dealing with their problems, she said.

Hill County has one of the highest suicide rates in Montana, which has the highest rate of the 50 states, she said.

Jackson said her life fell apart when she failed the bar exam after successfully completing law school.

She said she now realizes her life was in such a shambles it was impossible for her to concentrate on the test.

She said she had an “episode” and decided she had to move to a quieter setting. Her brother was in Lewistown, so she moved there.

She felt worthless.

She became a compulsive eater.

“I tried to eat my problems away,” she said.

“I just had to sit and realize who I am and what I can do with my life,” she said.

It took therapy, medicine and a lot of self-reflection, but she realizes today that she is anything but worthless.

“I realized I could no longer teach, and I can’t pass the bar,” she said.

Instead, she concentrates on her other passion — helping people.

She uses her love of animals so she pet-sits for people, spoiling pets before giving them back to their owners, she said, laughing.

She has organized NAMI-Montana’s Lewistown affiliate. They started with five members. Today there are 28.

As a member of the board at Disability Rights Montana, she advocates on behalf of people with all kinds of disabilities.

Jackson’s story mirrored that of Jeannie Walter, who describes herself as eclectic hobbyist, having a variety of interests and lifestyles.

Walter, too, had a troubled childhood — she was abducted as a toddler and spent her early life on the run.

She lived with constant bouts of loneliness.

“When I was 11, I decided I didn't want to live,” she said.

She said she never contemplated suicide, but prayed to God that he would take her,

She tried to deal with her mental illness, but at age 31, she had a total breakdown.

“I was in the hospital for 30 days,” she recalled.

She has spent recent years trying to develop coping skills.

It’s been tough, and she has had to deal with setbacks along the way.

Two of her children committed suicide.

She said she realized she will never be cured, but through therapy she will be able work through her problems.

Her problems are complicated, she said, because “I have a phobia against drugs.”

“I can’t do the meds, so I have to do something else,” she said.

“I do meditation, not medication,” she said.

She prays and stays very active in her church, she said.

She too enjoys helping people as part of her therapy.

She is now a certified suicide prevention counsellor, dissuading people from taking their own lives.

She was interim pastor of her church for more than a year. She delivers Meals on Wheels and is a substitute teacher.

She is vice president of Lewistown NAMI and has one goal she would like to fulfill.

“I want to be on the floor of the Montana legislature,” she said.

She said that is a place she can effect change to help people with mental illness.