View from the North 40: Rose-colored window glass

I haven’t written about the house project lately and, while I feel a little bad about that, I have to say it’s because I’m a little shy about expressing my deep feelings this early in the relationship the house and I are building.

After some of the initial anxiety, about whether or not the house and I might be a good fit and the struggles we had to get something going, we have been getting to know one another better — I don’t mean “better” better, just better. I’m not that kind of girl.

It’s been nice. We’ve been taking our time and, well, I hate to jinx what we have going on here, but I think what we have might be something special, long-lasting.

I know, I wouldn’t be the first person to say this so early in a developing relationship, but I truly believe we’re heading in the right direction. I shared with the house some of my future dreams, and it seems able to accommodate my vision.

We aren’t anywhere near a place where we want to make a commitment like having me move in because that’s just ridiculously far in the future, but we’ve made some short term plans and they’ve worked out well. Our time together seems to have a productive feeling, like we’re making progress toward something bigger, building a solid foundation for a relationship that could really last.

I have to say that the house project is fun. Sure, I joke about how attached it is to the shop, but that seems to add to its rugged good looks and homespun charm as well as giving it a certain air of usefulness.

Plus — not that it should really matter, but — my friends like the house project. My family members, seeing my attraction to it, are working to see its positive side. In fact, they’re planning a weekend visit to spend some time together, all of us working on some projects to give us something to bond over.

I keep saying it’s too early to be sure, but I think I could, maybe, love this house — I mean grow to love this house. The L-word is pretty too way big to be bandying about just yet.

On the other hand, the house has a lot of the qualities I admire, and I feel an attraction to it. I don’t know how it feels about me, of course. You know how houses are — not good about expressing their feelings, gotta play the solid, silent type — still, I think there’s something here.

The more time we spend together, the more it keeps opening up in the right ways, and the only walls it has are those to keep our relationship protected from the world. That's so sweet.

I just feel like there’s a door to a golden opportunity opening up here and I’m going to walk through it.

Sure, we’re in the first-glow stage of the relationship where I imagine the house will always keep me protected from not only all the elements, but all mice and bugs, too. To be fair, the house probably thinks I’ll always stay on top of cleaning, maintenance and repairs. None of that’s true. The good news is that it’s not true, BUT we know that and still accept each other.

I’m going to try not to fall into the trap of thinking this house is destined to be perfect. I keep telling myself that I have to be prepared for it to disappointment me on occasion. On the other hand, I’m just as certain that I will hurt it somehow, some day.

I promise, though, to work to make up for the damage. I will be there for the house, and it will be there to offer me shelter.

I can see us growing old together.

(I feel a bit giddy. Does it show at [email protected].)