Resolved: I will eat more chocolate in 2015

Against my better judgment, I made a New Year’s resolution. There’s a first time for everything. To me, New Year’s resolutions are nothing more than tongues flapping empty air. No matter how much I might say that in the coming year I’m going to run a marathon, lose a hundred pounds, work out at the gym every day, eat no fat, count carbs, read only wholesome literature, keep up with current events, hone my math skills, make a million dollars, get a man-friend, sail around the world, the reality is that I’m not going to do any of those things. I know that. And you know that.

Take a deep breath. Here goes: Eat more chocolate.

Life is short. If the sun rose for me today, that signifies a good day. There are no guarantees the sun will rise tomorrow. Maybe you think differently. I’m no longer invincible.

I have good logical and illogical reasons for dedicating a portion of my day to the pleasures and solace of chocolate. Any premise can be easily scientifically proven, or just as easily disproven, by a quick search on the Internet. We used to use the research library. Books work the same way but the Internet search is easier and quicker and seldom taxes one’s cognitive faculties. Since that is so, I decided not to bother with the research but simply to focus on personal experience. If you want to prove any of my points right or wrong, feel free. I’m easy.

The number one good reason to eat more chocolate is the sublime good taste. I won’t tell you how to eat chocolate. Be a hog if you want, though I recommend savoring each mouthful with closed eyes for maximum benefit. Sound effects are nice, too, such as “mmmmm.”

Nor will I give advice as to form.

Oh, form! Oh, variety! Chocolate cookies. Chocolate cake with fudge frosting. Chocolate cream pie with whipped cream and shaved chocolate curls. Chocolate cheesecake. Muffins, cupcakes, pudding. Candy, home-made and commercial. Unlimited choices. Mmmmm.

In Mexico, chocolate wriggles its way into moles with chicken, pork or beef and salsas. Or savor it in Mexican style rice pudding. More Mmmmm.

Ice cream. Oh, lovely ice cream. Double-chocolate-fudge-chunk ice cream. Oh, adorable ice cream. Double MmmmmMmmmm.

Chocolate drinks. Ah, drinks. Hot chocolate, mocha, champurrado (an atole drink), Kahlua. Much prior to midnight New Year’s Eve, Denise, Cheryl, two Karens, Ellie and I each lifted a steaming mug of our favorite hot chocolates in celebration. I made mine with Mexican chocolate, cinnamon bark, whole milk and vanilla. Sublime — I told you so.

Kathy reminded me that chocolate is the number one main food group and is as essential to life as water. Dee Dee said, while licking chocolate muffin crumbs from her fingers, that she is an ardent fan after purchasing “The Cardiologist’s Wife’s Diabetic Cookbook for Chocolate Lovers.”

Certainly it is a universal truth that chocolate is healing. Feeling a bit down in the dumps? Chocolate will warm the heart and lighten the spirit. Chocolate brings comfort to a troubled soul and perks up the brain waves. Dark chocolate lowers blood pressure. Light chocolate soothes the nerves and satisfies the appetite.

Chocolate enhances one’s social life. Is there any woman (or man, admit it) not made happier by receiving a special box of chocolates from the love of her (his) life on Valentine’s Day. Even better, even more special, a box of chocolates makes a most wonderful gift any day, just because. No “special” day other than it simply is a day. Note: Use social chocolate with caution. It has been known to lead to the altar.

Melts in your mouth, melts in your hand, melts on your face. Who cares.

(Sondra Ashton grew up in Harlem but spent most of her adult life out of state. She returned to see the Hi-Line with a perspective of delight. After several years back in Harlem, Ashton is seeking new experiences in Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico. Once a Montanan, always. Read Ashton’s essays and other work at montanatumbleweed.blogspot.com. Email [email protected].)