Dealing with holiday stress and depression

’Tis the season to be jolly? Not likely! The holidays may make many of us feel more like the Grinch than like little Cindy Lou Who. This is understandable with drop-in guests, shopping demands, tight financial issues, cleaning, entertaining, holiday parities … whew, I need a nap just writing about it! Is it any wonder that this time of year is one of the highest for stress and depression issues? Here are some helpful practical tips to minimize holiday stress and increase good cheer:

• Recognize and own your feelings: Just because it’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year” as the song goes, doesn’t mean it has to be that way for everyone. The holidays can bring up a myriad of emotions, especially if you have recently lost someone in your life. Accept your feelings, positive or negative, and know that it’s OK to not always feel cheerful.

• Be realistic about the holidays: Often times we have high expectations about what the holidays should be instead of accepting what they are. The holiday season looks different for everyone. Be flexible in your expectations, and perhaps you will be surprised.

• Budget your money: Before you go holiday shopping for gifts and food, budget how much you can afford to spend and stick to it. Happiness and love cannot necessarily be bought with a mountain of gifts. Spending time with those you care about may be the best gift of all.

• If you have a lot on your plate, organize and plan ahead: Plan for shopping days, make meal menus a head of time, and plan shopping lists to prevent last minute scrambling. Make sure you ask for people to help with set up and clean up. In the end, it will make for a much more enjoyable experience for you.

• Don’t feel guilty about saying “no”: When you overcommit yourself, you may end up feeling tired and overwhelmed. (Hey, remember tip No. 3?) Be realistic about what you can do during the holidays and know that you may not be able to bake cookies for all of your family, and go to holiday parties, and work overtime to have a little extra money during the holidays, and be able to attend holiday programs at school, and … and … and … Prioritize, and don’t feel guilty for having to say no to some things.

• Relax, and remember to breath: Remember to take time for yourself. Whether it is a 15 minute breather by yourself without distractions, or bathtub time with a good book. Find something that relaxes you and reduces your stress level. Even taking a few deep breaths can be helpful. When we’re stressed, we tend to take small, shallow breaths. A deep cleansing breath can help slow you down.

• Even though you feel like you don’t have time, continue positive practices: The holiday goodies that someone brought to the office may look tempting, but try not to let the holidays become a free-for-all. Eat a healthy snack before holiday parties to fill up on nutritious goods so you don’t eat as many sweets and meats. Remember to get plenty of sleep and incorporate some kind of physical activity during your day, even if it is to get up and walk around the building on your breaks.

• Talk with others and reach out: If you’re feeling sad, lonely, or isolated, seek out the company of others. You can touch base with family members or friends, or even community members or local religious organizations. Volunteering this time of the year is a good way lift your spirits and do something positive at the same time.

• Seek out assistance from a professional when needed: Sometimes, despite our best efforts, you may feel sad, anxious, irritable, have difficulty sleeping and feel unable to face the day. Seek out help from your local primary care physician or mental health professional.

Learn to understand your holiday triggers such as financial stress, or familial demands and take steps to manage them before they lead to a breakdown. Be kind to yourself and try to stay positive over the holiday season. Happy holidays from everyone at the Center for Mental Health.

Michelle M. Hill, LCPC, is director of rural services for the Çenter for Mental Health.