The captains of industry are porn kings?

We can all rest easy, now. The latest reports from the those in the know, say that 2014 will most likely be a better year for the porn industry.

Oh, yeah, NBCNews.com had a whole write up on it Tuesday in its business section, so it’s legit.

Very legit, according to one source who said that porn is a $97 billion industry globally and $10 to $12 billion of that is generated in the U.S. alone. Who knew?

It seems like a wildly outrageous number, but I’m inclined to believe it because the source is an assistant professor from New Mexico State University, which is outside the U.S. mecca of porn, Los Angeles, and the porn industry’s favorite convention spot, Las Vegas. (And, really, you’re not surprised to learn that about either of those two cities, are you.)

The professor, Kassia Wosisk, is listed on the NMSU website as a legitimate instructor of sociology. I am inclined to believe she actually has the credentials because she wrote for her Web page descriptions like: “I strive to uphold reciprocity, and I encourage students to realize their agency in the classroom, while conducting research, and preparing for careers in and outside academia.”

Only a true academic thinks that explains anything. And, who knows, maybe she’s on a tenure track based on her extensive studies of the adult entertainment industry for the past 10 years. It does seem like a field of study that would make one popular.

Sure, I imagine her in college telling her roommates, “How many times do I have to tell you not to come into my room when the lights are out? I’m conducting research. Gah! Now I’ve lost the mood.” Don’t worry, though, she has a doctorate, so she met all the requirements for the ultimate graduation, and her diplomas say she is well-qualified to mold young minds.

It is strange to think of the adult entertainment industry as being an actual industry and not just a seedy end to someone’s hopes and dreams of stardom.

According to the NBC article, people own adult film companies, reasonable sounding people, and they answer to a governing body that upholds industry standards in health practices.

If you own a pornographic film company, what do you put on your business card for job title? Back-room Entrepreneur? Owner and CEO of No-no Entertainment Enterprises? Porn King?

Don’t you want to know if they planned this career path? Did, for example, a grade school teacher call an emergency career-day conference with the parents of Steve Orenstein, president and owner of Wicked Pictures, which the article says is the only major pornography studio that voluntarily uses condoms in all of its films.

“Mr. and Mrs. Orenstein, I’m a little concerned about your Stevie. See how Johnny drew a picture of a firetruck and said he wants to grow up to be a Dalmatian dog like the one sitting in the front seat? And little Tracy drew this squiggly blob and said she wants to be a neuro-plastic surgeon who specializes in taking the wrinkles out of brains? — so cute — And then there’s Stevie who drew this, well, R-rated image and said he wants to be a leading mover and shaker in the pornographic arts and adult toy industry. Um, I am taken aback, to say the least.”

“We know,” said his parents. “Us, too. He’s so clever for his age. We’re so proud!”

And a career was launched.

(Yeah, that’s how it happens at [email protected].)