Pamville News: Tune in next week

Pamville News reporters bring you the latest events gripping the nation, and notes on planned follow-up coverage

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The tiny town of Luttrell, situated in a holler in northeast Tennessee, was experiencing a Girl Scout crisis of epic proportions: Troop 21118 was having trouble finding enough customers to buy their famous Girl Scout cookies but undaunted, they used their Scouting ingenuity and a little down-home practicality to fix the problem.

The troop's sales trouble was their lack of a major hub that attracts people in their town, someplace for them to concentrate their sales efforts. Thinking outside the box, though, the troop set up a sales booth outside the one place everyone in the area was sure to visit come Saturday morning: the Union County dump.

Troop leader Christy Williams told WBIR News that the troop has been selling at this location for three years, and they are getting strong support from dump/cookie customers, especially the guy who recommended viewers get "those Somalian cookies."

Tune in next week when Pamville News Channel 13 airs an interview with the Luttrell Boy Scouts as they sell popcorn at funerals.

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About 20 miles southwest of Luttrell, some folks in Knoxville, Tenn., were being treated to a different classic American food in another unconventional setting.

Ben Popken of NBC News reports that a Delta flight bound for Atlanta had to divert to Knoxville Monday night. Though this is normally a scenario for the airport version of waterboarding torture, with people trapped on board a plane suffering through overflowing toilets and severe rationing of the dwindling supplies of water, snack packs and oxygen, Delta airlines managed to keep people happy.

It was the pizza.

Despite being given the opportunity to flee in terror from their near-hostage situation, passengers stayed on board the flight. And despite the opportunity to low-ball passengers with plastic cups of municipal water and stale peanut packs, airline officials had Pizza Hut pizzas delivered to the tarmac with a police escort.

Tune in next week as Pamville News reports on the destruction of a nearby American Airlines plane as passengers who witnessed the pizza delivery rioted, demanding a lobster-and-candlelight dinner. Police stood by on the tarmac in case they were needed to escort the lobster.

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After an unfortunate personal incident, University of California San Francisco urology resident Herman Singh Bagga sliced through the data and crunched the numbers to discover that between 2002 and 2012 an average of about 1,700 men per year were just like him.

Those men ended up in the ER due to unfortunate zipper incidents … while zipping their pants … over their down there region, Bagga wrote in the British Journal of Urology International.

"You've been warned," he told Pamville News. "Enough said."

Tune in next week to hear from the Organization for Orthopedic Physicians and Surgeons, also known as OOPS, as they discuss the high number of rotator cuff injuries in bra-wearing women.

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Thank you for reading Pamville News, where our motto is "When the line between truth and fiction gets blurry, don't bother with glasses."