Note
To: Self
From: Me
I know Halloween just got over last night and you haven't quite recovered from the sugar buzz hangover, but I'm giving you the heads up to start getting your Christmas gifts made or purchased. A present or two a week starting now will save you from a mad flurry of work just before the big holiday. XXOO, from Me.
———
Quick note to Self:
Hey, Self, did you notice that the mid-November, pre-Turkey Day sales are going on? If you went downtown to shop now, you'd get some decent buys then have six weeks to work on all the gift projects you put on your to-do list — but haven't started. Not that I'm nagging. It's just a friendly reminder. Love, Me.
———
MEMO
To: Self
From: Me
Date: Thanksgiving Day
Re: Opportunities to head off the pending Christmas present crisis
It has come to my attention that you have made no plans to attend Black Friday sales events. While your aversion to crowds and shopping are both duly noted, you are hereby informed of my recommendation that you take advantage of these sales to purchase Christmas presents at a bargain price. Failure to attend sales events or otherwise procure and ship presents in a timely fashion will result in a mark against you in your personal and familial evaluations and will be noted on your permanent record. This could seriously jeopardize your standings in your family and among your friends.
Regards, Me
———
Quick note to Self:
Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
———
E-mail to Me:
Chill, man. I've got it covered.
———
MEMO
To: Self
From: Me
Date: Christmas Eve
Re: How stupid you are
There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces.
Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
———
Quick note to Self:
What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record.
But I'll be watching you.
———
E-mail to Me:
Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?)
Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season.
P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that.
(It's just another classic Christmas at http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
Note
To: Self
From: Me
I know Halloween just got over last night and you haven't quite recovered from the sugar buzz hangover, but I'm giving you the heads up to start getting your Christmas gifts made or purchased. A present or two a week starting now will save you from a mad flurry of work just before the big holiday. XXOO, from Me.
Quick note to Self: Hey, Self, did you notice that the mid-November, pre-Turkey Day sales are going on? If you went downtown to shop now, you'd get some decent buys then have six weeks to work on all the gift projects you put on your to-do list — but haven't started. Not that I'm nagging. It's just a friendly reminder. Love, Me.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Thanksgiving Day Re: Opportunities to head off the pending Christmas present crisis It has come to my attention that you have made no plans to attend Black Friday sales events. While your aversion to crowds and shopping are both duly noted, you are hereby informed of my recommendation that you take advantage of these sales to purchase Christmas presents at a bargain price. Failure to attend sales events or otherwise procure and ship presents in a timely fashion will result in a mark against you in your personal and familial evaluations and will be noted on your permanent record. This could seriously jeopardize your standings in your family and among your friends. Regards, Me
Quick note to Self: Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Thanksgiving Day Re: Opportunities to head off the pending Christmas present crisis It has come to my attention that you have made no plans to attend Black Friday sales events. While your aversion to crowds and shopping are both duly noted, you are hereby informed of my recommendation that you take advantage of these sales to purchase Christmas presents at a bargain price. Failure to attend sales events or otherwise procure and ship presents in a timely fashion will result in a mark against you in your personal and familial evaluations and will be noted on your permanent record. This could seriously jeopardize your standings in your family and among your friends. Regards, Me
Quick note to Self: Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
Quick note to Self:
Hey, Self, did you notice that the mid-November, pre-Turkey Day sales are going on? If you went downtown to shop now, you'd get some decent buys then have six weeks to work on all the gift projects you put on your to-do list — but haven't started. Not that I'm nagging. It's just a friendly reminder. Love, Me.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Thanksgiving Day Re: Opportunities to head off the pending Christmas present crisis It has come to my attention that you have made no plans to attend Black Friday sales events. While your aversion to crowds and shopping are both duly noted, you are hereby informed of my recommendation that you take advantage of these sales to purchase Christmas presents at a bargain price. Failure to attend sales events or otherwise procure and ship presents in a timely fashion will result in a mark against you in your personal and familial evaluations and will be noted on your permanent record. This could seriously jeopardize your standings in your family and among your friends. Regards, Me
Quick note to Self: Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
MEMO
To: Self
From: Me
Date: Thanksgiving Day
Re: Opportunities to head off the pending Christmas present crisis
It has come to my attention that you have made no plans to attend Black Friday sales events. While your aversion to crowds and shopping are both duly noted, you are hereby informed of my recommendation that you take advantage of these sales to purchase Christmas presents at a bargain price. Failure to attend sales events or otherwise procure and ship presents in a timely fashion will result in a mark against you in your personal and familial evaluations and will be noted on your permanent record. This could seriously jeopardize your standings in your family and among your friends.
Regards, Me
Quick note to Self: Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
Quick note to Self:
Dangit, Self, don't do this again! People won't stand for your neglect five years in a row. It's two weeks until Christmas, and you have to get those presents sent. Get 'em bought. Get 'em made. Get 'em sent. Get a move on!
E-mail to Me: Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
E-mail to Me:
Chill, man. I've got it covered.
MEMO To: Self From: Me Date: Christmas Eve Re: How stupid you are There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces. Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
MEMO
To: Self
From: Me
Date: Christmas Eve
Re: How stupid you are
There are messages on the answering machine, Self, and several e-mails from family and friends saying that they didn't get the packages you said you'd send. So much for "having it covered." Why am I not surprised? The phone message from your mother is particularly notable. I think she said something about having raised you better — hard to tell since she was crying and her sobs were somewhat obliterated by the sound her heart breaking into 587,933 little pieces.
Your laxness as well as your complete disregard for others and the season of warmth and generosity will count as a dark mark against your character for the rest of your life.
Quick note to Self: What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record. But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.) E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
Quick note to Self:
What did you do? It's Christmas morning, and I don't know how you pulled it off, but everyone seems to be happy with you. Your positive standing among family and friends is duly noted in your permanent record.
But I'll be watching you.
E-mail to Me: Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?) Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season. P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that. (It's just another classic Christmas at
http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
E-mail to Me:
Happy new year, Me! See, I told you I had Christmas covered. You worry too much, dude. I simply called everyone Christmas morning and told them I had just received a message by special currier from the package delivery company that their presents were on a delivery truck which struck a cow and crashed in a fiery blaze that seriously injured the poor driver. ( Of course, it's not true, but it sounded dramatic and touching, too — especially the part about the driver, right?)
Anyhoo, I said that since their presents were insured for double their original price, they'd be getting a hefty insurance pay-off check from Me in the near future. Me, meaning you. It'll cost you a little bit more money but, hey, friends and family are happy. 'Tis the season.
P.S. I recommend you send the checks around Feb. 15, then it'll make everyone feel like they're getting a Valentine's present too. We could score some chocolate for that.
(It's just another classic Christmas at http://viewnorth40.wordpress.com.)
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