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I met my wife for the first time in Creative Leisure. I had gone to Creative Leisure to rent a move that had just come out - it may have been "Shaun of the Dead," or "Kill Bill," or some other cult classic from the early 2000s - and I had just rented the last copy in stock. This cute girl and a couple of her friends came in and asked Rick Linie if he had any copies left of the very movie in my hands. An awkward kid barely out of his teens, I said something stupid like "Nyah...
I met my wife for the first time in Creative Leisure. I had gone to Creative Leisure to rent a move that had just come out — it may have been “Shaun of the Dead,” or “Kill Bill,” or some other cult classic from the early 2000s — and I had just rented the last copy in stock. This cute girl and a couple of her friends came in and asked Rick Linie if he had any copies left of the very movie in my hands. An awkward kid barely out of his teens, I said something stupid like “Nyah nyah, I’ve got the last one,” rather than being...
Sen. John Walsh, D-Montana, has been caught red-handed plagiarizing a report for his master’s degree. The New York Times did a tremendous public service by discovering and reporting on the plagiarism at the Army War College. Since then, many voters are taking a second look at the former general and his candidacy. The war college is taking a second look at the degree he received. The senator and his staff have given various accounts of the whole mess in recent days. But one gets the sense that there is something of a shrug of...
Nothing says Americana quite like the Midwestern heartland and good ol’ American ketchup, and nothing says America’s heartland needs you more now than ever than a 170-foot-tall ketchup bottle going on the auction block in a little city called Collinsville, Illinois. This isn't just any old 170-foot ketchup bottle. It is a vintage, mint condition, red-white-and-blue, world’s giantest ketchup-bottle-disguised 100,000 gallon water tower, ever. Ever, I tell you. But that...
I’m freezing. I’ve been shivering since landing at Sky Harbor in Phoenix last Wednesday. Phoenix is even hotter than Mazatlan. This being summertime, I didn’t expect frigid air in Phoenix. I had forgotten the airport is a converted refrigeration unit. Figuring I would not need them until I reached my destination in the middle of the night in Seattle, I had packed my sweater and jeans jacket in my checked luggage, somewhere in the bowels of an aircraft. Within half an hour...
Maybe I watch too many movies and I’ve become jaded, bored by the action movie formula, but thoughts of reality keep intruding on my action/adventure cinema experience. In a scene where thieves break into a downtown office to steal solid gold bars to finance a major drug and firearms purchase from dastardly no-good-nicks, (this is what I see): Two mastermind thieves enter the building through the roof (one of them gets stuck in the opening they made and, in the process of g...
I am willing to entertain the idea that the devil is real and he is working in the manufacturing business as a design concepts innovation engineer. Yes, I just made up that job title, but with the devil on the loose, literally making mischief, I think we have bigger things to worry about than my imagination. These devilish products include mirrors that make objects appear closer than they are. Yes, it’s true. Why mess with my depth perception? Why not make it a plain ol’ mirro...
My friend David died last year. Ah, I miss him. But now and then I channel David. His wife, Vidya, insists David channeled P.T. Barnum. David was an idea man. He was always coming up with a good idea to do this or do that. When we worked in theater, I used to tell him, “Write up your idea and tell us how you intend to carry it out.” That suggestion killed a lot of ideas. But when a super-great one showed up, we instituted it right away. David used to say, “I just throws ’em o...
With the arrival of Independence Day, veterans like us often reflect on what patriotism means in terms of the responsibilities we American citizens have. One responsibility we all have is environmental stewardship. As we celebrate our nation’s independence, the U.S. military remains ready to serve and protect. In order to maintain a strong defense, our military needs safe, secure, reliable, and affordable energy. That’s why the military is taking steps to strengthen our defense by using cleaner energy, increasing the use of r...
Today we celebrate the colossal public error and the people whose job or hobby puts them in line of public scrutiny. I live your pain. Today we celebrate the 1-minute parking sign in Brentwood, California. Yes, it’s a one-hour parking area, but thanks to an error in the official city signage making it a one-minute parking zone you’d barely have time for a round of musical chairs in a clown car. And those clowns are fast. Possibly the best part about this sign error, rep...
I always knew I was a princess. Not any old run-of-the-mill princess, mind you, but a fairy tale princess. Not just any fairy tale princess, mind you, but a princess like the one from “The Princess and the Pea.” None of your Snow Whites or Rapunzels for me. Cinderella came close, but I could never do the glass slipper. How did I know my royal roots? When I was a child I could not sleep unless and until I had made the bed conditions exactly “right.” The sheets had to be smoo...
A friend in Glasgow tells us somebody he knows has a son “moved away.” He went to Williston, North Dakota. Not that far away actually. His daughter, though, “stayed at home.” She moved to Missoula. Farther away, but, most important, still in Montana. There is something that binds Montanans, from Culbertson to Butte, from Whitefish to Ekalaka. There is a sense of community. A feeling of rigid independence, friendship, willingness to help and more than a touch of eccentricity. They say Montana is one community with very lo...
Sometimes I wish I’d taken drugs in my youth — not that I’m advocating that behavior as a lifestyle, but it just seems like such a white-bread cliché to blame my chronic airheadedness on being a natural blonde. And I’ve met my parents, known them since birth (my birth). They seem to be reasonably intelligent people, so it’s highly unlikely that it’s a genetic problem. I didn’t have children so I can’t blame them somehow, like they can alter human genetics retroactively. M...
During the last two weeks, the story of an alleged sexual harassment at Montana State University-Northern was brought out in public. The general outline of what happened at Northern is not a surprise. Rumors of the incidents have been spreading in the community, especially at Northern, for some time. The allegations detailed in the testimony are perhaps not as torrid as had been rumored. Northern is not the first employer in Montana to be faced with these kinds of problems. Employees at workplaces throughout the state have fe...
The next time I get to whining about how my government is like my mother — always saying no, can’t don’t — I’m going to have to remind myself that at least I don’t live in Swaziland where they just passed laws regulating fictional behavior. Civil aviation authorities in Swaziland have decreed that witches flying broomsticks above 150 meters will be subject to arrest and a hefty fine of $47,000 — equivalent to 505,000 in Swazi lilangeni, the local currency. With all due respe...
While the flying cotton from the wealth of blooming cottonwood trees is amping up the sinus problems of area allergy sufferers, it also sparked debate in my household. For those who don’t know, cottonwood trees come in two types: chicks and guys. The more common ones, referred to as females, spread countless seeds — at least one with each fluff of cotton floating through the air — and the rare ones, called males, do not produce seeds at all. My husband and I have both types...
If, as the congressional tea party says, taking money via taxes from wealthy corporations and individuals is bad for the economy, then why is it not equally bad or even worse for our economy to be extracting unnecessary money from virtually all young adults who carry student loan debt? Today, students are caught in an economic vise. Total student loan debt exceeds $1.2 trillion — more than credit card debt. Between 2004 and 2012, average student loan balances increased by 70 percent. Meanwhile, between 2000 and 2012 real m...
The Montana Commissioner of Political Practices is one of the most important offices in state government, though it has a tiny staff and a slim budget. It is the job of the office to monitor elections in the state, making sure that candidates know of and follow the regulations for financing campaigns. It was always a daunting task — trying to remain independent and fair in Helena, a city known for brass-knuckled politics. It has become more difficult in recent years with the advent of dark money and secretive groups that favo...
Part 2 of 2 We begin where we began last time: with naked Mike Rowe on the Internet. We move on to where we ended last time: with naked Sam Elliott on the Internet. We see, now, clearly there’s a pattern to my thinking, there’s also a purpose: Who is hotter, Mike Rowe star of “Dirty Jobs,” narrator of “Deadliest Catch” and advocate of blue collar employment, or Sam Elliott, actor, horseman and straight-shooter, literally. What is not clear is that the naked videos have no, or...
Richard Elijah (Chase) Grandbois, Wus-Da-Wan, "Bobtail Bear," passed on to the other side to join his Lord and savior and relations suddenly at 25 years old on May 30, 2014, in Tucson, Arizona. He was born on Aug. 26, 1988, to Cheryl Ann Cheryl (Gros Ventre/Mandan) and Raymond Grandbois (Turtle Mountain Chippewa) in Tucson, Arizona. Richard was an enrolled Mandan member of the Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold, ND. He was intelligent, devoted to his Catholic religion, tenacious in his interests, had a wry wit and...
Part 1 of 2. I saw Mike Rowe naked. Not in person, of course, like with my eyes reaching out and touching his bare-naked skin — because he’s Mike Rowe, “Dirty Jobs,” “Deadliest Catch,” “I got me a resonant, opera-trained voice that I use to advocate for blue collar work” Mike Rowe, so the possibility that I would personally see him naked-as-the-day is just, that would, so far, it’s really, yeah, right. You know what I mean. Plus, he was holding a “Help Wanted” sign over h...
Lizards startle me. Back in the long-ago days when I rode horseback to check cows, now and then I'd see a flash of movement when a lizard sunning itself on a rock was equally startled by me. My mouth emitted a screech without my permission and my heart swung into overdrive. I couldn't help myself. Meanwhile the lizard disappeared behind, around or under the lichen encrusted rock, a perfect habitat for its lichen colored skin. Fortunately, there aren't a lot of lizards in easte...
I have outdone myself this week and turned from being simply old to being old-old. Birthdays come and go and we get older with more or less grace and certainly without any effort on our part because aging is just a byproduct of breathing. We have an endless supply of truisms about age, aging and being old: “Age is relative” — because a 5-year-old thinks a 20-year-old is old, the 20-year-old thinks 40 is old and the 40-year-old thinks 80 is old. “Aging is alright; it’s th...
Last year America produced 84 percent of the energy we consumed, the highest level since 1987. Our net energy imports — measured in terms of energy content — are at a 26-year low. The speed with which our energy imports have been diminishing is astonishing. According to the Energy Information Administration, our net imports of energy decreased 19 percent from 2012 to 2013. With that fast pace, America is truly on a trajectory to full energy self-sufficiency in the very near future. Part of the decline in energy imports has...
Americans overwhelmingly disapprove of Obamacare. Montanans rejected Obamacare’s individual mandate at the ballot box by a 2-to-1 vote. It is not hard to understand why. Obamacare was crafted behind closed doors by special interest lobbyists — the pharmaceutical industry, the hospital industry and major health insurers. The public was cut out from the process entirely. The consequences were disastrous. Thousands of Montanans had their insurance policies canceled last year, and insurance premiums are skyrocketing. Last wee...