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  • Looking out my back door: Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Jun 4, 2015

    Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds reads an inscription on the James Farley Post Office in New York City, the unofficial postal creed. Maybe the creed also applies to the UPS. Although it makes no mention of tornado, hurricane, earthquake, tsunami or flash flood or volcano, I believe both delivery services strive to do a decent job. Through my own stupidity, I got tangled in a Brown Truck...

  • Looking out my back door: Make mistakes - and use your fine china

    Sondra Ashton|Updated May 28, 2015

    As far as we know we have only one life to live. That suggests to me that I want to make careful choices. Of course some things are out of my control, such as the sock that went missing when I picked up my laundry at the local lavanderia this morning. It is a universal truth that washing machines the world over eat socks. People love clichés for that hint of truth. I like clichés. One I frequently hear is this: If you were on your deathbed, would you bemoan that you had not sp...

  • Looking out my back door: The soap operas and a day in my life

    Sondra Ashton|Updated May 21, 2015

    The Guiding Light: While weather in Havre continues to be erratic, after weeks of Mazatlan perfection, Summer arrived. Each day is hot. Mucho calor. My little apartment stays reasonable with a flow of breeze most days. Summer suggests I limit my walking to early morning and late evening. Of course, at times necessity dictates I deviate from that rigid schedule. I walk home drenched in sweat. Click. Dark Shadows: Long ago at a rodeo in Roundup, I suffered a mild sun stroke....

  • Looking out my back door: We're back to normal - but what's normal?

    Sondra Ashton|Updated May 14, 2015

    After two weeks of active (not normal) social life (nonexistent) with friends from British Columbia and then with my cousin from Sedro Woolley, Washington, and following two nights of long sleeps, my life has returned to a sedate routine. Mostly. I could call it “routine times two.” Each day with my friends, I walked three or four or six times what I previously had been doing. Plus, I continued with my physical therapy, which means the extra walking enhanced my strength and...

  • Looking out my back door: This hodge-podge, crazy quilt life that I have

    Sondra Ashton|Updated May 7, 2015

    What is life but shifting tidbits of sensory experiences tossed into a basket of scraps? After weeks of stitching together metaphorical pastel scraps, when friends from British Columbia, who dropped on my doorstep unexpected, I felt bombarded with a galloping array of primary colors. My days didn’t change drastically, yet, the colors seemed more intense, the patterns more interesting. Kathy and Richard are long-time friends. Most of the swatches we dropped into or picked o...

  • Looking out my back door: Getting drunk on the great big everything

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Apr 30, 2015

    Holy Smokeroonies. Saturday late afternoon I sit with a book open in my lap, my eyes in the sky, watching the play of light on the cirrus clouds. Suddenly, an apparition. Kathy and Richard stand at my door, grins splitting both faces. For a brief time I am paralyzed. (Certifiable? Candidate for sainthood? Visions portend one or the other.) Fast forward: hugs, babble of voices, I can’t believe it, we wanted to surprise you, what are you doing here, it was hard to keep our t...

  • Looking out my back door: Voice of the turtle dove is heard in our land

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Apr 23, 2015

    Even Solomon knew we need to hear a familiar voice from time to time. And what could be more familiar than the mournful Coo-OOO-oo-oo-oo of the bird that in our country is called the mourning dove. In Mexico she is la paloma. But that doesn't mean I invited her to stake out a homestead in the hanging planter outside my back door. The planter itself is colorful, a traditional flat-backed, painted hanging wall planter. I suppose Senora Paloma looked around and decided the many...

  • Looking out my back door: The last mechanical clock in the whole USA

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Apr 17, 2015

    Just when life in my neighborhood returned to normal: 8,000 motorcycles roared out of town. 50,000 tourists followed. Lingering snowbirds flew north. An unexpected and welcome rain shower blessed, washed and renewed the atmosphere. Geckos came out of hiding to skitter across my walls. Peace and quiet defined both day and night. Peace. Quiet. Too quiet. I rolled over in bed and looked at my clock. I distinctly recalled winding it last night. Poor thing expired halfway between...

  • Looking out my back door: Mexican-American Graffiti - during Holy Week

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Apr 9, 2015

    I never know. I never know what each day might bring. I think I do. I’m always wrong. Back when my children were youngsters, I used to pray, literally pray, for a boring day, just one boring day, please. At the same time, if one of my youngsters dared mouth, “I’m bored,” invariably I got a gleam in my eye and whipped out a list of positive motivational activities, i.e., jobs to do. Interestingly, following the initial attempt, my children were never bored. I never said li...

  • Looking out my back door: Upstairs, downstairs, balance on the bannister

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Apr 2, 2015

    Like anyone, I have my “up” days and my “down” days. But, really, it is all about keeping life in perspective and finding balance. Take today, for instance. I leave the house for my morning walk at first light. I like to greet the sun. And as thoughtful as those words sound, it is as much about walking in the cool of the day. Perspective. Balance. Generally, I walk between 45 minutes and an hour. Don’t think I’m covering the miles. I am a mere two months away from hip-replace...

  • Se bilingue - I speak food in different languages

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Mar 27, 2015

    In the months I have been in Mazatlan, I have collected referrals for several ways to enhance my poor command of Spanish. But all seem to be formal classes. No thank you. If small children point and laugh at me for my misuse of tense or gender, so be it. My desire is to understand, be understood, and interact in everyday situations. Like most gringos, I start with the elementary please, thank you, and where is the bathroom. From there I progressed to a smattering of weather...

  • Crooning the homesick blues for Montana

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Mar 19, 2015

    I woke up homesick. I want real weather, I said to myself. I’ll take any distraction to keep myself from dealing with the deeper problem. Weather, indeed. Tip of my iceberg. Winter’s never been my favorite season. But spring came early to Montana this year. (The computer is a great tool.) I don’t trust an early spring. Nevertheless, I daydream warm Chinook winds, tulips and iris shooting sprouts through the sun-drenched ground, lilacs nursing baby buds through the chang...

  • Looking Out My Backdoor: Saga of sexy sunglasses

    Sondra Ashton, Humor columnist|Updated Mar 5, 2015

    Ai-yi-yi! I don’t know what to do. One minute I’m happily married, the next minute I’m headed for divorce court. You know how I’ve been purging drawers and cabinets, throwing away useless, outdated and un-used stuff — the stuff we tend to shove away to deal with later? Maybe I got carried away. Maybe I went too far. I didn’t mean anything by it. (This message was sent to me by Kathy, my friend, who with her husband Richard, lives on Pender Island in British Columbia.)...

  • In my next life, I would love to have hair

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Feb 26, 2015

    Recovery from surgery has multi-faceted aspects. In my considered opinion, most aspects don’t bear the attention we tend to give them. The grim reality is that we get to go through the discomforts, fears, outright pain, immobility, etc., whether we want to or not, whether we give energy to the process or not. Eventually, discomforts pass. Take a simple thing like learning to walk. When an infant learns to walk, she is cute. The baby pulls herself up onto the lip of the c...

  • A look at Carnival, the Mardi Gras of Mazatlan

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Feb 19, 2015

    The 117th annual Carnaval. This year the theme is Los Suenos del Rey Momo — the Dreams of the King. Momo — a mythological Greek god who wore masks of satire, mockery and censure, the god of writers and poets. arnival in Mazatlan, similar to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, is a riotous round of celebration and merry-making with abandon, which screeches to an abrupt stop Tuesday night. Ash Wednesday ushers in Lent, the 40-day period of penitence and fasting in somber preparation for...

  • My motto: All dreams fall from the same sky

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Feb 13, 2015

    Upbeat. Uplifting. Positive. I like to fill my weekly articles with humor and hope. Re-read the title, an ancient Hopi expression. That’s all the hope I have to give you. This is my second week under house arrest, chained to my walker. I know I am healing. I know it is a slow process. My mind knows. My heart is unrealistic. I want surgery last week followed by entering the 10 K this week and perhaps a full-on tri-athalon next week. I feel like Snow White with the six d...

  • I Left My Hip in Sinnn-a-lo-a

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Feb 5, 2015

    With a bit of lyrical jiggling, I could write a new hit song. OK. So I’m not Tony Bennett. OK. So not all my good ideas work. I’m happy to be back in my casa. My bionic knee, Ruth, acquired in India, is bonding with my new bionic body part, Rose Hip. With every step, I lean onto the arms of my new best friend, Hopalong Cassidy. I have another supportive friend who lives in the bathroom whom I call Howdy Doody. This sounds like my body is quite cosmopolitan, chic mul...

  • Looking Out My Backdoor - A hip bionic woman is getting a tire change

    Sondra Ashton, Humor columnist|Updated Jan 29, 2015

    Holy Smokies. I never know which way the ball will bounce when I get up in the morning. Hey, keeps me on my toes. When I saw my x-ray, I knew I’d soon have to go under the knife, become more bionic than I already am. My hip joint was shot. Hip shot, get it? Whoops! Is it even legal to use “hip” and “joint” in the same sentence? Despite instant knowledge I decided to live with the painful hip as long as I could stand it. Stupid, yes? Why would any normal person make that deci...

  • In Seattle, Harlem, Mexico: Getting to know you

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Jan 22, 2015

    When I moved from Montana to the Seattle area in 1984, not my first relocation by any means, I knew it would take a while to develop friendships. Two years later, coffee outings with a couple of women eventually led to trips to Seattle for the symphony or Elliott Bay Books with Lynn and to picnics or family dinners with Karen, who also had children. A couple more years and I had many friends; men, women, couples and singles. Friendships take time to develop. I sorted through a...

  • Longing for one of those rough Montana winters

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Jan 15, 2015

    Hi John, I understand the weather is a bit on the rough and tough up there. I’ll not talk about the weather down here. Hello Sondra, That’s what a little time in Mexico does to you. You’ve lost your Montana bravado. Don’t you long for the minus 5 temperatures, the minus 20 wind chills, the 8 inches of snow? You’ve become a wimp. Well, that sure shut my mouth! And that after I’d been whining about what a cold winter we are experiencing here, what with the dregs of the cold flow...

  • Resolved: I will eat more chocolate in 2015

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Jan 8, 2015

    Against my better judgment, I made a New Year’s resolution. There’s a first time for everything. To me, New Year’s resolutions are nothing more than tongues flapping empty air. No matter how much I might say that in the coming year I’m going to run a marathon, lose a hundred pounds, work out at the gym every day, eat no fat, count carbs, read only wholesome literature, keep up with current events, hone my math skills, make a million dollars, get a man-friend, sail around...

  • Gifts of Christmas past: Traditions change with moves

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Dec 31, 2014

    For years I have had fun devising unusual “Charlie Brown” Christmas trees. My last several years in Washington, I used a gigantic Montana tumbleweed for my tree, carefully boxing it up for storage the day following Santa’s midnight visit. I’ve also used twigs, various potted plants, candlesticks and imagination. When I moved, every one of my Christmas decorations, hoarded over the years, got parceled out to new homes. I looked around my apartment for materials, ideas and ins...

  • Tidings of comfort and joy

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Dec 24, 2014

    For two weeks the words of that Christmas song floated through my mind. The chorus won’t leave me alone. Think about it. The whole thing is a strange set up. First angels show up. Then they say, Hey. Dude, chill. Don’t be scared. Think about it. If angels showed up at my door, I don’t care what words they used, I’d be terrified. Typically angels might say they bring good news. But what generally comes into play, at least before anything good happens, think about it, long tr...

  • The process of finding my inner pole dancer

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Dec 18, 2014

    Dance is different things to different people. To some, dance is pure joy of movement. To someone else, it is forbidden sin. Dance is exercise, artistic expression, communication, a route to seduction. Dance is children cavorting on the lawn in summer, cowboy jitterbug at the Elks Club on Saturday night, the senior prom, the formal ball, the shindig. It is the butterfly flitting flower to flower. For me, at this time and place in my life, dance is my doctor’s prescription. Don...

  • Dear Miss Manners and other stories about Mexico

    Sondra Ashton|Updated Dec 11, 2014

    Know thyself. I am the first to tell you that I am selfish and self-centered to an uncomfortable degree. I would take a melon scooper and remove those traits if that were possible. I don’t have impeccable manners; I know that. I like to blame my imperfect childhood. I never had a mother to teach me the niceties. To compensate, I became hyper-vigilant. I watch you to see how you do it. Imitation is a form of flattery. Unless it isn’t. Unless I see less than desirable traits. Th...

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